The Scarlet Devil
by Cyberchao X
Summary: Sakuya has come to love her mistress...but love is never easy, especially not where vampires are involved.
1. Prologue

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

A/N: I still don't own any of these characters, though I really, _really_ want Remilia. :)

Prologue

_Hello. My name is Sakuya Izayoi, age…well, that's not important. I have what is probably the toughest job in the world. I'm head maid and caretaker for the Scarlet Devil Mansion, where I work for a pair of bratty, irresponsible vampire sisters. Do I hate it? Well, it can get a bit annoying at times, and yet…no, not in the least._

"Sakuya!" my master, Remilia Scarlet, called out. I stopped time to rush to her side. "You know, Sakuya, you really don't need to do that. Just because I call for you doesn't mean you have to be there _instantaneously._"

"Ah, yes, but if I can, well, isn't that all the better?"

"Well, yes, but…it's a little disconcerting sometimes."

"What is it you required of me, my Lady?" I asked, trying to change the subject. She gave me my task, which the author of this story was too lazy to think up, and I quickly completed it.

"Efficient as usual. You truly do go above and beyond the call of duty as a maid."

"I take pride in doing the best job I can," I replied.

"Why?"

"Why do I take pride in my work?" I asked, confused.

"Why do you work so hard?" she replied.

"Love." Oops. That wasn't supposed to come out.

"Love?" she asked.

"Er, yeah…I love my job," I said hesitantly.

"Then I'm obviously not making it hard enough."

"No, no, it's plenty tough caring for you, my Lady." She gave me a quizzical look. "You and your sister are quite a handful. Taking care of this place isn't easy."

"…You're a horrible liar, you know that?"

"I beg your pardon, my Lady?"

"You no longer fear me, Sakuya. That much I'd realized, and I'd learned to live with it. But _why_ you remained so dutiful, if not out of fear, had escaped me. I see now that it was something much worse."

'Worse', she says? This can't be good. "My Lady, you misunderstand…"

"Do I? I don't think I do. I think I was a fool not to see it sooner. Sakuya, Sakuya, Sakuya," she said, getting in my face and unfortunately eliciting an instinctual blush, "you're making a **big** mistake."

* * *

CCX: This story has changed quite a bit from the way I'd originally thought I'd be doing my first SakuRemi—so much so that the original, which was one-shot, songfic, and featured both Remilia and Sakuya narrating, might still see the light of day eventually. This, however, is going to be multi, and I'm not sure if Remilia will get to narrate at all.

Sakuya: Not sure? You mean you don't have a full plan for this?

CCX: Of course not. Making a full plan for a fic in advance is a surefire way to make sure it never actually gets written. Just look at some of the "future projects" listed in my profile—or _Conn. A&M_ (over on fictionpress), which was built back-to-front and as a result has never actually reached its initial point of conception.

Sakuya: I just worry that it will end up unfinished, like so many of your other multis.

CCX: I'll try not to let that happen. By the way, what was up with that comment about the author? Isn't that a bit out of place in a story that's written in first person?

Sakuya: Er… *stops time and runs off*

CCX: *sweatdrops* Right. Ja ne!


	2. Chapter 1

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

A/N: I do not own _Touhou_ or any characters thereof. Unfortunately.

Chapter 1

_My name is Sakuya Izayoi, and my life just got a lot more complicated. I kind of let it slip that I'd fallen in love with Lady Remilia, the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I know that I have no right to feel this way, both as a humble servant and as, well, a mere human. To a vampire like my Lady, my lifetime is but a short period of time, and as such, such a love affair would be foolish…and my Lady knows that._

"I…I don't make mistakes."

"Aren't I a bit young for you?" she asked.

"Aren't _I_ a bit young for _you_?" I replied.

"Yes, you most certainly are. And yet, I will still be but a child when your life has run its course."

"That is not important, my Lady."

"Ah, I see, so is _that_ the type of person you are? One who loves children?"

"No, my Lady, it is not. When I look at you, I see only the refined grace and beauty of the noble vampire, one who commands respect from all who behold her."

She paused. "That was very nice. It also pretty much confirms that you wish to be something more than a mere servant. I wonder, though…do you wish to earn my favor so that you don't have to serve me?"

"Your words are too cruel, my Lady. I am your faithful servant."

"This discussion has gone on long enough. I would imagine you weren't idle when I first called for you, were you? So resume whatever it was you were doing."

"As you wish, my Lady."

A few days later, Lady Remilia happened to walk in on me during one of my rare chances to rest. "Lying around doing nothing, Sakuya? This is most unlike you. Quite disturbing, really."

"Everything is in perfect order, my Lady. There is nothing that needs my attention at the moment."

"Is that so…?" Apparently, it wasn't, because whether my attention was needed or not, it was gotten nonetheless. Remilia's usual attire had been replaced by something far more elegant, a dark maroon dress that left her shoulders and upper arms entirely uncovered. I automatically blushed and tried to avert my eyes from her beauty. "Is something wrong, Sakuya?"

"Nothing, my Lady. It is just…you are too beautiful. And knowing my feelings as you do?" It was a struggle to hold myself back from her, that pale form beckoning to me. "You truly are a cruel mistress."

"You're right. I _am _cruel. And you don't deserve that. You belong with someone who will treat you kindly. Someone _human._"

"A-are you firing me?"

"Don't be stupid. You're the best maid I've ever had. Also, you vowed to serve me until the end of your _mortal_ life. I'm not about to let something this good get away."

"And yet, you say I should be with someone kinder than you."

"I only want what's best for you. You're obviously going through something where you _need_ someone, and I'm not that 'someone'. I'm a vampire, and you're not."

"No, my Lady, I am not. I am a human. To one such as yourself, I am nothing more than a food source."

"No you're not. You're far more important than that. Just because you're a human doesn't automatically make you food." Upon further consideration, she realized what I really meant by that statement. "No, Sakuya, I'm not going to bite you. No matter _how_ much you beg."

"I think you're just being cruel to drive me away, my lady."

"I'm always cruel. It's just in my nature. However, I will not deny that I'm being extra cruel in order to convince you that I'm not someone you should be in love with."

"Very well then. I will go and search for a human lover, and live where I find one. It may not even be in Gensokyo."

"You'd leave me?"

"It's what you want, is it not?"

"No, it isn't, and I won't allow that. I'll force you to stay if it comes to it."

"And how would you do that, my Lady?"

She became a bit flustered. "Well, I…I'll turn you into a vampire if necessary!"

"I see two problems with that plan, my Lady."

"Oh?"

"It's common knowledge that you don't drink enough blood to turn anyone into a vampire. You claim it's just so you can keep using the same humans as a food source, but I know better. You just haven't got the appetite for that much blood."

"True, but Flandre's appetite is a bit larger than mine, and at the very least, the two of us together should be able to get the job done. Name your second flaw."

"Two: if I am no longer human, doesn't that ruin your main argument as to why you're not right for me?"

For this, she had no answer. After awhile, she walked up to me and said, "You're really annoying, Sakuya, you know that?"

"I learned from the best, my Lady," I replied, smiling at the angry young vampire now tantalizingly close to me.

She blushed, leaned in, and slapped me. "Jerk," she spat, walking off. So exceedingly cruel…and yet, so lovely. Deep down, she's really quite generous…and yet, she hides it under a heavy layer of ego. She'll do nice things for others, but only if she can make an excuse to make it look like she's only acting in her own best interests. Even my happiness…she justifies wanting me to be happy because I'm _her_ maid, and if I'm unhappy, I can't serve _her_ to the best of my potential.

I doubt I'll ever leave. Whether or not she wants to admit it, she needs me—and oh, how I ever need her.

* * *

CCX: You can blame that rare bit of costume porn (as poor as I am at it) on Youtube, namely the uploadings of one ChaosAngel092. Then again, it was the beautiful pictures used in said uploadings (see #107 for the dress in question, and #151 for another beautiful picture of Remilia) that vaulted Remi to the top of my favorite characters list.

Sakuya: Yes, one might say that writing a fic in which Remilia is the object of desire in first-person would be _almost too easy_ for you...

CCX: Heheh, yeah, I was a little bit worried about how that would work out... well, ja ne!

Sakuya: You mean you're just going to e-


	3. Chapter 2

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

A/N: No, I do not own any of these characters. I want them, but I haven't got them.

Chapter 2

_My name is Marisa Kirisame. I'm a human magician/youkai hunter from Gensokyo. Over the years, I've gone on a number of journeys, and suffice it to say that I've made some _interesting _friends…_

"Halt!" cried the gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. "No one is allowed to—"

"Chill, China, it's me," I said.

"Grrr…my name's _Meiling!_"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Is it really already that time again?"

"Believe me, I wish it weren't." She laughed, understanding my apprehension. See, ever since I first came here, I've been assigned the duty of being Flandre Scarlet's playmate. Flandre is a generally cheerful and friendly child, but she's also a bit unstable and has a tendency to cause more damage than she intends to. Because of this, she spends most of her time locked in the basement. And yet, every other week, I have to come over here to play with her. 'She's been so much happier and more well-behaved since she met you,' Remilia says. That's great and all, but do I really have to risk my life on such a regular basis?

Wait, why am I doing an internal monologue? Alice would call me crazy if she found out. Of course, she does that anyway—usually multiple times per day. But only with the utmost of affection.

"Stalling for time again, are you?" Speak of the Scarlet Devil. "Wait…_you're_ a human…maybe you can be of some assistance."

"Having trouble finding food, Remi-chan?" I asked. "Don't you have that maid to take care of that?"

"No, you idiot. Not that I'd ever feed on Sakuya…afraid she'd enjoy it too much."

I raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like the Sakuya-san I know…"

Remilia started to reply, but was interrupted by a loud banging coming from the basement. "Marisa? Is that you?" Remilia shut her mouth and opened the door.

"Hi, Flan. Yeah, come on, let's play."

"Yeah, we'll have a great time!" Her innocence would make her quite charming if she wasn't so deadly. After what seemed like an eternity, our 'playdate' finally ended. Unfortunately, by this point I'd forgotten that I'd unexpectedly acquired more business at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"So, did you have fun with Flandre today?" Remilia asked.

I sarcastically replied "Oh, yeah, it was a real blast."

She laughed. "I know it can't be easy being Flandre's best friend, especially for one as fragile as a human. Speaking of which…perhaps you can illuminate me as to how to deal with the human emotion of love."

"_Human_ emotion? You mean vampires don't feel love?"

"I never said that. That's not what I'm asking about. I just imagine that it probably works somewhat differently for different species."

"Uh-huh. And why do you want to learn about human love? And again, why can't you ask Sakuya about it? Patchy could probably help too even though she's not human; she certainly knows a lot…"

"Sakuya's…kind of the problem. She seems to have fallen in love." She paused. "With me."

"And you don't feel the same way, but at the same time, you don't want to break her heart like that."

"Well, yeah, it's tough. She's the best maid I've ever had…the best everything I've ever had, really. Getting rid of her would be impossible, and yet…I'm afraid I don't know how to avoid this issue without driving her off."

"It sounds like you really care about her," I said, hoping she'd realize the obvious.

"I do. I've come to see her as a close friend and confidante. But _just_ as a friend. You know, like you are with that miko."

Like I am with Reimu. That's the way she saw Sakuya. Reimu is my best friend, and for a long time she _was_ my closest confidante—but that title now belongs to my beloved Alice, of course. "I see."

"And that's why I want her to be happy. But I'm _not_ the one for her. For one thing, I'm a vampire, and she's a human. She'll be lucky to live for a hundred years. Do you know how little I'll age in 100 years?"

"Well, seeing as how you look about the same as a ten-year-old human now, I'd have to guess about as much as we'd age in two?"

"If even that much. It does vary, after all—Flandre's only five years younger than me, but she acts like she's half my age."

"Which, ironically enough, _would_ be five years younger than you if you actually _were_ a ten-year-old human," I pointed out.

"Yeah, that seems almost too contrived. Like someone got lazy when figuring out how age differences would work on a scale as grand as the one vampires use."

"You might be right about that. But what exactly was the point of asking me that?"

"You're really thick, aren't you? She'll grow old and die, and I'll barely age at all."

"Yeah, I'm not exactly the human you should be talking to about that," I reminded her. "My 'wife' is a youkai, remember?"

"…Crap. Of course. You really are the worst possible candidate, aren't you? Not only _have_ you found happiness with someone who will outlive you by centuries, but it's also another woman."

"…Come again?"

"Yeah, that's the other reason why I'm not the one for her. That just isn't the way I swing, you know what I mean?"

"…Yet again you prove that most stereotypes about vampires are false. But seriously, I'm surprised. Your staff is all female, and you're _not_ a lesbian?"

"I've had male staff in the past. Didn't work out so well."

"I don't suppose your position on human-youkai relationships stems from this, does it?"

"Your 'wife' is probably waiting for you, Black-White." It sounded like I'd hit the nail on the head. So, the mighty Scarlet Devil had once had a human lover. Still, a man? Men are practically an endangered species in Gensokyo. Taking the hint, I left, wondering if the stubborn vampire would ever realize the obvious—that her feelings for her maid were more than just friendship.

* * *

Sakuya: Breaking the fourth wall again, are you?

CCX: Merely speculating.

Sakuya: Are you ever going to flesh out this mysterious past relationship?

CCX: Probably not.

Sakuya: Are there going to be a lot of chapters like this?

CCX: What do you mean, "like this"?

Sakuya: Where I'm not even in them. Aren't I supposed to be the main character?

CCX: Maybe you are, maybe Remi is. In fact…I think the latter makes for a more compelling story. The story is told in the first person from the viewpoints of everyone _but_ the main character. Works well, doesn't it?

Sakuya: If you say so…

CCX: I do. Ja ne!


	4. Chapter 3

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

A/N: I still don't own any of this stuff, sadly. No, wait, actually, that's not true! There's an original character in this chapter! Sadly, she's ultimately unimportant to the storyline and probably won't be returning in later chapters, although I will definitely remember her for possible use in future Touhou fics.

Chapter 3

_My name is Keine Kamishirasawa. I'm a human…or so I generally appear. In reality, I'm a were-hakutaku. This will give me a longer life than most humans…but still nowhere near as long as my _human_ beloved. Not that it matters, since my love is unrequited and my lack of immortality leaves me unable to compete…_

Sensing a powerful demon heading towards the Human Village, I instinctively cloaked its existence from history, ready to deny that it had ever been there. "Give it up, Keine-san, I _know_ where the Human Village is."

Whoops, my mistake. It wasn't a demon, merely the super-powered maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Sakuya Izayoi. "Of course, Izayoi-san." Although later meetings hadn't been quite as frigid as my first two encounters with the maid—which had also been my only two meetings with her master, the famed "Scarlet Devil"—I still didn't consider her a close enough acquaintance to speak to on a first-name basis, and I wouldn't be surprised if she only called me by my first name because my surname was such a mouthful. "S-sorry."

"It's okay. Is something wrong? You look like your mind is elsewhere."

"I…" I paused, "It's nothing worth talking about, Izayoi-san. My problems are my own."

"Sakuya-san is fine," she replied. "Actually…I was kind of hoping to take my mind off of my own problems for a bit."

"Then…perhaps we should commiserate…Sakuya-san."

* * *

Shortly thereafter, we found ourselves at Koko's, with two glasses and a _large_ bottle of plum wine. "Not used to seeing you here this early, Keine," the owner and namesake of the bar greeted me, "And with a guest, too. Koharu Kobayashi," she introduced herself to Sakuya.

"Sakuya Izayoi. Pleasure to meet you, Kobayashi-san." Sakuya then turned to me. "Sounds like you come here a lot, Keine-san."

I blushed. "Er, I wouldn't exactly say that I'm here _a lot_…I come here on a semi-regular basis, I guess, but…well, anyway, it's just that sort of place, where even if you're not a regular you'll be well-received whenever you do choose to return." This was absolutely true. Koharu went out of her way to make sure all of her customers felt like they were among family when they were in her establishment, and could always be counted on to provide a sympathetic ear when you needed a friend. However, she could also be a little unsettling at times, as she was keenly perceptive to the point that I sometimes wondered if it was a supernatural ability—not that this would be remotely out of place in Gensokyo—and, of course, underneath that friendly demeanor she still had the steadfast toughness that is an unwritten prerequisite for owning a bar.

In other words, not someone you'd want to mess with. I suspected she knew that I wasn't quite as human as I seemed, to the point that I had already discussed some of my problems with her before, though I took care never to go into details about the true nature of either myself or Mokou.

Mokou. Of course. While I'd been doing a fairly good job of staying strong, or so I thought, it _had_ been fairly obvious to most of the people who knew me that something was wrong. It's not Mokou that I'm angry with, of course; I don't think I could ever be truly angry with her. It wasn't her fault, anyway. She was so happy when she told me, of course; such a beautiful smile. I had no choice but to smile along, a fake smile, and congratulate my best friend on finding that special someone. She had no way of knowing that her words broke my heart, that I'd always seen her as more than just a friend. How could she have? I never opened up to her, afraid of losing her if she didn't return my feelings…and instead I lost her through my inaction, except…

…Except this way was even harder, because she still considers me her best friend and closest confidante. It's hard to pretend to be happy for someone you love when you see them with another woman. I…I want to be happy for Mokou, because she really seems to enjoy being with Kaguya, and deep down I know that it's for the best, because like Mokou, Kaguya is immortal, whereas I will eventually die one day. Still, I can't help but be jealous—no, _envious_. Jealousy is being overprotective of something you _do_ have. Wanting something that you have no right to is envy.

"Hmm…I wonder, then, which do I have?" Sakuya said, when I'd finished unburdening my troubles. "Probably neither, since there's really no one to be envious _of_."

"You lovestruck as well, Sakuya-san?" I asked.

She nodded. "My lady. I find it hard to remain professional, especially since Lady Remilia holds me in the highest regard as a maid and guardian…yet has made it perfectly clear that she does not return my feelings."

"At least you managed to confess your true feelings."

"It was…sort of accidental. I didn't even directly confess so much as let something slip that allowed her to figure it out."

"Then I envy you to a degree. If only Mokou had been so perceptive."

"You envy one whose beloved has _clearly_ stated that the feelings are not mutual?"

"Better to know that it's not going to happen than to live with that uncertainty. Would things have been different if I'd been more direct? I…I want to believe that they could have."

Oddly enough, Sakuya started to chuckle at this. "Do you really? I think you've accepted the outcome a lot better than you think." When I merely stared at her with a look of confusion, she continued, "You say that you _want_ to be happy for Mokou-san and Kaguya-san, but cannot get past your own selfish desires. Yet one with powers such as yours could easily use them selfishly and make it so that they never got together. I think that you're far more generous than you give yourself credit for."

"I can only conceal history, not erase it. The events still happen. But even if I could do that, changing history for selfish reasons will only incite the wrath of certain higher powers. Somehow, I'm sure they'd know the way things should have been regardless of what I did."

"You…might want to continue this conversation somewhere else, before it gets overheard by someone who shouldn't be hearing it. Like me," Koharu interjected. "I'll just put the wine on your tab."

Sakuya smirked upon hearing that I had a "tab" at Koko's, but said nothing about it. "Actually, we probably should be parting ways. I'm sure that Izayoi-san is quite busy, and her mistress will probably get a bit cross if she takes too long to return." I paid the bill. "Why _were_ you here, Sakuya-san?"

"Just some errands to run. And…perhaps I needed to clear my head. I suppose there's really nothing I can do but grin and bear it. You should probably do the same. It sounds like you really care about what's best for Mokou-san."

"And you for Remilia-san. It's been nice chatting with you, Sakuya-san."

"Likewise, Keine-san."

* * *

Sakuya: Well, it looks like you haven't given up on this after all. You may yet be able to complete this.

CCX: Don't be so sure; I _did_ have up through Chapter 4 planned out back when I started this.

Sakuya: What took so long, then?

CCX: I was a little unsure of the idea of focusing on a character that I wasn't as familiar with and, well, didn't really care too much for. I'm usually pretty good about dealing with ships that are in opposition to my own preferences, but Keine/Mokou is _so_ prevalent that as a Kaguya/Mokou shipper, I'd kind of been a bit unfair to Keine for awhile. Which I really regret, as this turned out to be a damn good chapter, even if the main ship _did_ end up taking a backseat to the Keine/Mokou/Kaguya love triangle.

Sakuya: Well, I suspect it was for the best. You didn't have Koharu planned out in June, did you?

CCX: No, I did not. I came up with her when I first started working on this chapter last week, and I think I did a fairly good job with creating an NPC-tier OC.

Sakuya: "NPC-tier"?

CCX: Yeah, that's the way I see it. When an OC is a major part of a story, on par with if not upstaging the canon main characters, they're "PC-tier". (And Sturgeon's Law says that nine times out of ten, they'll be upstaging the canon cast; these OCs are called "Mary Sues".) On the other hand, there are OCs that fill background roles, characters that you believe easily could have been there the whole time and were merely never seen on-screen because there was no reason to do so. NPCs. Here, we have what is probably just a normal human, albeit an unusually perceptive one, who owns a bar. If this were a tabletop RPG, she'd probably be one of the first NPCs to be encountered, because most campaigns start out in a tavern. I'm pleased with the way it turned out and like I said in the opening A/N, I'll try to remember her in case I ever have any more fanfiction set in the Human Village.

Sakuya: …I'm not in the next chapter, am I?

CCX: It runs almost concurrently with this one. So, no, you're not. Ja ne!

* * *

Final notes that I couldn't find a way to fit in the discussion: I also found it rather appropriate that even in a chapter where she's drowning her sorrows in wine, Keine manages to remain a teacher, providing a lesson on the subtle differences between jealousy and envy.

Also: While this chapter was still nevertheless constructed in MS Word (with the necessary minor edits for line breaks and last-minute add-ons), I'm probably going to be posting future chapters through my deviantart account first-as it is, this chapter went up there about ten minutes ago or so. It's a bit more work to modify a Word Document there, so that'll probably be where I do the constructing in the future. Why? Well...I've joined a new group, and want to contribute, but my artistic skills are...somewhat lacking. Yes, I'm an art minor, but I specialized in Photography and Digital Imagery (which amounts to a lot of Photoshop). So the obvious solution was to contribute fanfiction, and this was the only one that fits the theme.

Anyway, since I started this chapter early on the morning of the 31st and it's now early morning on the 9th, you can probably expect Chapter 4 sometime next week. Of course, stopping and coming back doesn't really work if I'm not in Word, does it?

...I've gone on long enough. Yet another reason why I shouldn't be trusted to be writing after midnight. (I finished up the actual chapter well before midnight, but due to my desire to get everything in line over on dA first, it's not being posted here until 1 AM.) Just review, damn it!

...Oh, right, my deviantart account is under a different name than my account here is. Look for me at ~izumofirefox. (Yes, after the main character of _Dream_.) Alternatively, just go to #Remilia-Scarlet-FC, since that's the group I've joined.


	5. Chapter 4

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Back to not owning any characters this chapter.

Chapter 4

_My name is Sanae Kotiya. I'm the priestess of the Moriya Shrine. I'm human…but of divine ancestry. Speaking of the divine, I'm also going out with the maiden of the Hakurei Shrine—essentially the most important person in all of Gensokyo. Not bad for a newcomer…_

"You're still here? With all of the time you spend here I'm starting to think it would be easier for you to just move the Moriya Shrine here…" my girlfriend said.

"You say that as if you don't want me here. Are you getting sick of me?" I teased, playfully nuzzling the back of her neck.

"Mmm…I could never get sick of you, Nae-chan," she replied, leaning back into my embrace. Somehow it always ended up with me supporting her despite our relative sizes. Of course, thanks to her special ability, she probably _is_ the lighter of the two of us even though she's taller than I am. Reimu would probably also point out with considerable bitterness that I'm a bit better endowed than she is, but I don't really care about that.

…That's one of the other weird things about Gensokyo—despite the fact that probably over 80% of the population is female, my relatively modest endowment is considered above average here. I really feel like this is where I belong. "Good, because I'm not going anywhere. It's really not as big a deal as it would be in the old world, because Kanako can handle things in person. Although…I wouldn't mind if we merged the two shrines, since technically we're still competitors right now." She voiced her agreement, and I continued, "Besides, _my_ shrine actually gets donations." I expected her to hit and/or tackle me for that remark, and was quite displeased with the result. "Ow! Really, Reimu, _yin-yang orbs?_"

"You were hoping for something more like this?" she asked, pinning me to the ground. "You're really starting to go native, aren't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with mock offense, wrapping my arms around the body that covered mine. Suddenly she stiffened up, and I quickly let her go. I sensed it too; there was a strong power approaching. And yet, it wasn't the usual overpowered visitor to the Hakurei Shrine; _she_ was quite a bit stronger than this one, and besides, she didn't really "approach" so much as "appear out of nowhere". "You have a visitor!" came the cheery voice of longtime freeloader Suika Ibuki.

"Hopefully one with donations," Reimu said.

"Sorry, no donations today, shrine maiden," came a droll voice that seemed out of place at the current time of day. "Although I may have to consider coming back with some if you're helpful enough today."

"Remi-chan. Didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing out in the daytime?"

The Scarlet Devil bristled at this. "You've got some nerve speaking to a noble demon like myself so familiarly."

"…You don't exactly sound like you're here with a business proposal. If you're here to speak about personal matters, I don't see why I shouldn't address you casually."

"Because I'm still your elder by some four-hundred-eighty—four-hundred-seventy—how old are you, anyway?" Reimu just smiled; even she likely didn't know the answer to that question. The only one who could probably give an answer was Yukari, and of course she'd never tell—"What fun would that be?" she'd likely say. "Well, either way, I'm over 500 years old and you're maybe at most in your mid-twenties."

"You don't look it."

"Yeah, you'd think that would help limit my suitors, but…" She sighed, lowering her parasol as we entered the shrine. "What's your opinion on demon-human relationships? It's a bad idea, am I right?"

"I personally prefer other humans, but I'm certainly not against it. Still, I wouldn't think _you_ would have problems with unwanted suitors. You certainly don't seem like the type to let someone off easy."

"Hmm…yeah, I guess I should have expected as much. You and that witch are the same."

"You talked to Marisa about this?" Reimu seemed pensive for a moment. "Ah, right, she mentioned having a conversation with you last time she went to play with Flandre-chan…something about you and Sakuya-san?"

"I should've known she couldn't keep a secret."

"…She's better than you think." A hint of bitterness in Reimu's voice; I immediately picked up the reference to the way Reimu and Marisa's relationship ended.

"I agree with Reimu; there are times when a relationship between a human and a demon is a good thing," I quickly interjected, "specifically the aforementioned relationship between Marisa-chan and Alice-san." Reimu was trying not to giggle. "Then again, I probably have rather selfish reasons for supporting them because it helped me get together with Reimu."

"Do I know you?" Remilia asked.

"Remi-san, please stop being so contrary," Reimu tried to mediate, even using the more respectful "san" despite identifying her by her physical age rather than her chronological one. "Marisa didn't tell me everything; only that Sakuya-san admitted her feelings for you and that you were conflicted over this."

She blushed. "I'm not _conflicted_…I'm just not interested. I do care about her, though, which is why I think she needs to find someone who will love her the way she deserves, instead of someone like me."

"By which you mean 'a vampire'?"

"…Yeah, let's go with that."

"Something you aren't telling me? I can't help you without full disclosure, Remilia-san."

"She seemed awfully nervous when you mentioned that Marisa-chan had spoken to you about their conversation," I suggested. "Perhaps she knows more than we do."

"Ooh, yeah, maybe," Reimu agreed. "I could easily get it out of her; I do know all of her weaknesses..." Seeing my disapproving look, she added, "Though hopefully that won't be necessary."

"I can't help but wonder if there's something _I'm_ missing here," Remilia said. "Anyway, if you must know, I belong to a…certain minority."

We both nodded, immediately understanding. Whereas in the old world—I hesitate to refer to it as the "real world" since that would imply that Gensokyo isn't real, although as far as residents of the old world are concerned that's the case—monosexuality is the norm and heterosexuality is a significant majority among that group, Gensokyo is exactly the opposite—bisexuals are a majority and most people who _are_ monosexual are homosexual. Yet another reason why I'm so much happier since coming here—it helped me discover who I really am; that is, _not_ strictly heterosexual. "Hmm…I thought I vaguely remembered your mansion being a bit different awhile back, but I'd chalked it up to the oddities of Gensokyo playing tricks on me," Reimu mused.

"By 'different' you mean…"

"An equal-opportunity employer."

"It…that…that doesn't have anything to do with anything! Wait, how would you know that; that was close to 40 years ago! I don't think Sakuya even knows that…"

"Sakuya-san's not originally from here, though, is she?"

"Even if she was, she's far too young…and I'm _pretty_ sure she's older than you are. Not that I really know how old she is…or how old you are for that matter…"

"Pardon me, but _what do you expect us to do about this, anyway?_"

"…Who are you, again?"

I knew that I'd been getting a bit irritated at this but apparently I was angrier than I thought because the next thing I knew Reimu was restraining me. "Calm down, Sanae!" The beautiful shrine maiden ran her fingers through my hair, staring directly into my eyes. "Just calm down…it's okay…"

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd…"

"You hadn't yet. I've gotten better at recognizing when something's bothering you. I don't like seeing you angry, Nae-chan…I hope you don't mind that I try to stop you before you even start."

"I…don't have _that_ much of an anger problem, do I?"

"No, of course not. You're a bit excitable at times, but not particularly short-tempered. It's just…"

"…that when I do get angry, I get destructive." I looked up at her with an expression that I hoped was "slightly ashamed and cutely asking for forgiveness/acceptance".

…What? I was still living in the old world when the concept of "moe" was created; I know how it works. "…Yeah." Looks like it worked exactly as I'd hoped, because her sweet lips enveloped mine as her soft hands caressed my back…"caressed" probably isn't the right word here; it implies something a bit gentler, not that Reimu was ever rough. Let's try that sentence again: Her sweet lips enveloped mine as she feverishly ran her soft hands across my back. Yeah, that's much better.

Side note: those shrine maiden outfits with the big, detached sleeves? Allow for _really_ easy access to the upper body. Makes for some really _interesting_ public displays of affection. Reimu, childish as she may be at times, doesn't really approve of this opinion of mine, however…which could only mean that she'd forgotten that we had guests. (Besides Suika, who doesn't really count as a "guest" anymore because she never leaves.)

After allowing us to do our thing for a little while, Remilia interrupted, "You know, I guess she has a point. It's not like either of you has an ability that would help here. Heck, my 'fate manipulation' ability is probably better than most abilities at fixing this problem."

"…But you'd also need to manipulate someone else's fate as well as Sakuya-san's if you want to create a new relationship."

"I'm not going to use my power to play matchmaker. It's a horrible idea."

"…You've tried it before, haven't you?"

"Of course not. It's a horrible idea."

"…If your reasons for not being interested in Sakuya-san revolve around your heterosexuality, why did you start by emphasizing the human-youkai aspect of it?"

"You're starting to annoy me, shrine maiden. Heterosexuality isn't exactly common around here, is it? It's not something I'd just talk about so casually." The sun had already set by this point, so she left.

"…I may not have known her as long as you have, but she's lying to herself about this, right?" I asked Reimu after Remilia had left.

"…Yeah, I think so. For someone who prides herself on being an ancient and noble demon, she really is incredibly naïve."

"Oh?"

"There was another thing that Marisa mentioned about her conversation with Remi-chan, something I thought it would be best to leave out."

"I can't imagine why it could possibly be a good idea to keep something from that vampire."

"…She explicitly compared her relationship with Sakuya-san to the one Marisa has with _me._"

"So then she obviously doesn't know that you two used to go out before Alice-san came along…wait, wasn't the Red Mist Incident…"

"Before the incident in which we became reacquainted with Alice-chan? Yes, it was; specifically, it was the one _right before_ that one, which would put it at the peak of our relationship."

"…_Re_acquainted?"

"Ah, yeah, that's why I was laughing earlier. I'm sorry, it's just…hearing '-chan' used for Marisa and 'san' used for Alice in the same sentence is kind of…odd, I guess."

I looked at her, puzzled. "But Alice-san is a demon, right? She's…probably older than we are…and she certainly acts far more mature than Marisa-chan."

Reimu shrugged. "I guess it's possible; Remi-chan doesn't look like someone starting on her sixth century, after all. But the first time we met Alice-chan was shortly before the Red Mist incident, and yet at the time she appeared no older than, well, Remi-chan does."

"So she actually aged _quicker_ than you did?" Reimu nodded. "I guess there are still some things about Gensokyo that I don't understand."

"There are things about this place that _no one_ understands, sweetie," she replied. "Now, where were we before Remi-chan interrupted us?"

"Right _here,_" I replied, wrapping her up from behind and reaching inside her top. She furiously started blushing, which I teased her about because we really were all alone—not even a Suiklone to be found. Hmm…perhaps it's not so much the contact that bothers her in public as it is the fact that I tend to reach inside the front end more often than not…

I suddenly realized what Reimu meant when she said I was "going native". Ever since I'd discovered that I liked girls as well as guys, I'd started to become a bit more aggressive. There were definitely some unfortunate implications involved in that, though I wasn't sure if it was that bisexuality led to sexual deviancy or that with such a lovely and beautiful girlfriend, I was subconsciously slipping towards a more "male" role.

One thing that I miss about the old world: there are no psychologists in Gensokyo. Few have the qualifications, and most of the ones that do are too closely associated with Yukari Yakumo to be of any assistance. I suppose I could try to get one of the satori sisters to take a peek inside my mind, but I'm a bit scared of what _else_ they might find in there. After all, if _Reimu_ is considered a good place to go for help with matters that _don't_ require something being yin-yanged into oblivion…

…Hmm. I guess there's one other person who would be considered a decent source of advice, but…

* * *

Sakuya: I'm getting the feeling that our story is becoming more of a framing device for you to tell any of a number of stories.

CCX: It might just be, although I'm pretty sure I've still got a plot going. It _was_ a bit hard to figure out how to end the chapter when Remilia had already left, though.

Sakuya: So you decided to end it mid-sentence.

CCX: Nonsense. That was my transition to the next narrator.

Sakuya: *sweatdrops* You're joking, right?

CCX: Anyway, I've found the matter of honorifics to be quite troublesome. Namely, I fail to see the point in using one when referring to a third party that is not present at the time. Still, I'm pretty sure that the proper procedure is to do so, so that's what I did in all cases where the person is not familiar enough to warrant dropping the honorific. Narration, on the other hand, never gets an honorific.

Sakuya: You just changed the subject.

CCX: Also, I'm not sure if there are canonical heights for the characters, so I could be completely wrong about which of the mikos is taller.

Sakuya: X…

CCX: This was a fun chapter. I really liked writing for Sanae. Ja ne!

Sakuya: You're impossible…


	6. Chapter 5

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Still don't own _Touhou_, though I certainly seem to be making my presence known here in the _Touhou_ fanfiction section.

Chapter 5

_My name is Byakuren Hijiri. I am, or was, a human. I suppose I still identify as one. A lot of people say I have a messiah complex, but I just want to see humans and youkai coexisting peacefully. I guess I's not horrible, because it means people are listening to my message, but…the attention can get a bit overwhelming at times._

"And so I'm going to have to tell you not to worry about it. It sounds like you and Reimu-san have a very healthy relationship. Your concerns can be attributed to the unfamiliarity of the situation, but it's perfectly normal."

"Ah…thank you, Hijiri-sama." Sanae Kotiya bowed to me, and I inwardly winced. The level of respect that the residents of Gensokyo pay me can be a tad unsettling at times, although I've learned to take it in stride. It looked as though I would soon be getting some private time, but…no such luck. Just as Sanae was leaving, another woman approached: Sakuya Izayoi. A shining example of human-youkai relations.

"Recently it's become impossible to do my job properly."

…Okay, I guess I stand corrected.

"You and Remilia-san haven't been seeing eye to eye lately?"

"…Yeah, to say the least. It's not her fault…I just don't know what to do. I can't even look at Lady Remilia without…I'm so ashamed."

"…Do tell." Okay, maybe I was right the first time. Sakuya is definitely one human who enjoys the company of youkai.

"She's made it clear that she doesn't feel the same way about me, but I can't stop thinking about her."

Suddenly the maid got a massive nosebleed. I didn't even need to turn around to know what had happened. "Nue-chan, please stop teasing our guests." I turned around to see Nue taking on a form that greatly resembled that of Remilia Scarlet, but with a few key changes. It was probably a fairly accurate depiction of what she might look like a few centuries from now, although I can't really picture the Scarlet Devil wearing something so revealing, even at night. Come to think of it, it was odd that Sakuya would be away from her mistress at night…or if not with Remilia, then back at the mansion watching over Flandre should Remilia go out. Perhaps this problem was more serious than I thought…

Nue laughed and returned to her own form—more or less. "Lighten up, Bya-chan! Sakuya-chan obviously needs some fanservice, and it doesn't sound like the object of her desire is willing to give it."

"You're going to make it worse. Look at how flushed she is…I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with where this is going." Sakuya's hand was starting to creep into her skirt, even though the tantalizing illusion had passed. "Sakuya-san, control yourself!"

"Oh…oh my…I'm so embarrassed…"

"It's…well, I can't really say it's _okay_, but it's at least understandable. Nue-chan has a way of changing form in order to provoke reactions. Although personally I think she doesn't need to change one bit…" I looked back at her. "This again?"

"Nothing wrong with a little help…right Sakuya-chan?"

"They're not—you weren't even _there_ back then!" the maid cried. I thought it prudent not to ask what that outburst was all about, instead continuing to glare at Nue until she relented and reverted to her naturally flat-chested state.

I then turned back to Sakuya. "I'm really not sure what advice I can give you here. If Remilia-san says she doesn't feel the same way, there's not much you can do about it…and if it were truly causing problems, I'd figure she'd have done something about it by now."

"Lady Remilia says she's doing it for my sake, that she thinks I should be with someone with a lifespan closer to my own. But I get the feeling that's not the case."

"I agree. I don't know Remilia-san very well, but from what I hear, such selfless acts are not her style."

"She makes a point of fostering that image, but she's not really as nasty as she claims to be."

"…I wouldn't doubt that she has a sweeter side; I have met very few people who were truly one hundred percent evil."

Sakuya started blushing again. "Yes, she's actually very kind…especially to Lady Flandre and me."

"Hmm…so the only other person she treats as well as you is her sister…that could suggest that she loves you in a non-romantic way, similar to the love one feels for a family member."

"That…makes sense. She worries about Patchouli as well, and Patchouli is Lady Remilia's oldest friend, but their relationship is a bit different than the one I have with my lady."

"…and not in the sense that she is your mistress and not Patchouli-san's, correct?"

"…Correct."

"Damn, what is _with_ her? I'd kill to have a servant who was also madly in love with me," Nue said, "That vampire is letting a good thing get away."

I rolled my eyes. "Nue-chan, why do you have to be like this? People are not so simplistic as you make them out to be."

"I know that, Bya-chan, but everyone _does_ have certain base desires. Even you."

I couldn't argue with that; private time with Nue was _exactly_ what I'd been thinking about as I was wrapping up my session with Sanae, and Sakuya's arrival was quite a source of disappointment. Still… "Nue-chan may have a point. Your position allows you access that few have to Remilia-san's hidden depths; you should use that to find out what it is that she desires and try to fill her needs."

"But I already…"

"No, no, no, not like that. _Needs._ Take Nue-chan here for example. As you saw before, even when she's taking on an alternate shape, she always wears her stockings up to her thighs." After removing her right shoe, I slowly pulled away the sock as I continued, "This is because she has _very sensitive_ legs."

Floating above me, Nue's face reddened as I caressed the bare leg, playfully starting to suck on her toes. "B-bya-chan…"

Sakuya also reddened. "Ah, er, was I…interrupting something between you two? Or delaying it, rather?"

Taking Nue's foot out of my mouth, I replied, "Nonsense. When someone comes to me seeking advice, I'm all too happy to help." Regardless, Nue floated a little lower, and judging by the way she eagerly kicked off her other shoe I could tell she was getting antsy.

"Uh, right. I'll just be heading off then," she replied, speeding off. None too soon, too, as Nue began to unlace my dress as I started to remove the stocking from her left leg. See, I don't know why she even bothers using her illusions to make her appear bustier than she really is when we both know that I'm just going to go for her lower half anyway. Then again, I guess it's that kind of quirkiness that I love about her.

Well, that and those lovely, soft, tender, _sensitive_ legs. They definitely helped.

* * *

Sakuya: _Et tu_, X?

CCX: Hey, I'm of the belief that they're real.

Sakuya: Well, at least you made that seemingly shitty transition work. Still, have you forgotten what you rated this fic?

CCX: …Well, what do you know; apparently I have. I'll bump it up to a T. Anyway, I realized that the narrator I'd thought I'd had planned for Chapter 6 _also_ works better as being part of a "Sakuya chapter", and so she's been moved to Chapter 7. I've got a pretty good idea of what I'm doing for Chapter 6, though I'm debating who to use as the narrator. And like this chapter, it will introduce a pairing that I haven't actually used in a fanfic before. (As well as further establish that "Secrets Within" is apparently in an alternate continuity relative to the rest of my Touhou oeuvre.)

Sakuya: Wouldn't that make _three_ continuities now? Your latest doesn't seem to be compatible with any of your others due to a complete absence of shipping.

CCX: True, but that's almost a given for a crossover. More importantly, I'll finally have—

Sakuya: *stops time* We can't have you giving away _everything_, X. Ja ne!

* * *

CCX: On second thought, this isn't really any worse than last chapter; it just feels like it to _me_. I think we can leave this a K+, although I'll have to be more careful in the future. Although, there's an extended cut available to those who know where to look.


	7. Chapter 6

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Not available in all states; standard text messaging rates apply. Wait, wrong disclaimer…

Yeah, you know the deal. Damn, it's been so long since I've done a humorous disclaimer…

A/N: This is going to be a difficult chapter for reasons that will soon become obvious.

Chapter 6

_My name is Eirin Yagokoro, and I...am really wishing that Kaguya-hime and Mokou-san had just remained enemies right about now. It's not that I don't like seeing them together, because I do; Mokou-san really makes the princess happy, and that's wonderful. It's just that ever since she moved in, we've had to reinforce Eientei to deal with the physical nature of their relationship…and apparently some of my friends think that a nigh-invincible house with primarily immortal residents is the _perfect_ place to allow their hellions to get out of isolation for a change._

"Nobody likes a smart-aleck, Eirin. And why do you sound like you're narrating something? …Also, bringing Flandre here was Remilia's idea, not Patchy's." It really is annoying when you read other people's minds, Satori. You know that, right? "I can't help it. It just happens."

"Just…just try to respond to what we say and not what we think, okay? Also, that doesn't excuse _you_ for deciding that Remilia-san's idea was a good one and bringing your hell raven here."

"You can't be serious."

"About not excusing you? …no, of course not; you read my mind again. Yes, I would seriously rather deal with Flandre-san than Utsuho-san." All interrupting mind readers aside…that's basically exactly what happened. Patchouli comes over here quite often, both as a friend and as a patient of mine. After seeing that we were reinforcing the mansion, she mentioned it to Remilia, who decided that next time she accompanied Patchouli to Eientei (which happens probably half the time, fluctuating based on Patchouli's health), she would bring Flandre along. And Satori, who can read minds from considerable distance, happened to "hear" this idea once it neared Eieintei and decided to make an unannounced visit, which was par for the course for her and usually not entirely unwelcome, only this time she brought Utsuho, the nuclear sun god hell raven, with her. The rabbits have been making up hazmat suits and trying to avoid breathing ever since they showed up.

"Okuu is _not_ as destructive as Flandre," Satori stated. "Quit blowing this out of proportion."

"Flandre-san may have greater destructive rage—and even _that_ seems arguable these days—Utsuho-san's mere presence is hazardous—the radioactive energy she gives off can because serious illness or even death after sustained exposure."

"That's…kind of the point. When let loose, Okuu-chan has large but uncontrolled blasts that leave a lot of collateral damage. She needs to learn how to train her power so that she doesn't do something stupid, like letting out excess energy during a fight."

"Keeping Okuu-chan from doing something stupid is a lot harder than that. She just radiates stupid," Rin Kaenbyou cut in with a giggle.

"No, don't let Orin bait you; focus your energies on me and Kaguya-san," Mokou told the young hell raven. Utsuho "Okuu" Reiuji fired a miniature sun toward Mokou, who chose not to dodge it, instead taking the pain full force The blast was concentrated; very little slippage and mostly hit the targets. Mokou's wounds would heal quickly, as would most of the others. That means less downtime before another round. Still, it looked like there were a few spots where they could catch a break.

* * *

CCX: It looks like _I_ was the one who needed a break here. Anyway, now is where we need a scene transition, only I haven't got one so I'm just going to break the flow of the story. While I'm here, a big thank you to all of my reviewers. You've renewed my confidence in the power of subtlety.

* * *

"Wow," Flandre Scarlet said, watching Utsuho's moves and blushing a little, "that's…really impressive."

"It's…it's nothing special. I mean, you're more powerful than she is," her older sister replied. Remilia was even outdoing Mokou in being…what was the word Kaguya-hime used?

"Tsundere," Satori said, pulling it out of my memory.

"Erm…thank you, Satori," I replied. Yes, tsundere. Remilia was a classic type-A tsundere…although it was perhaps somewhat worrying that I had only seen her "dere" side come out when dealing with her _sister_.

"She also seems to have a soft spot for her maid, although she seems to be in denial. Perhaps I should have Koishi take Okuu over there if she and the younger one do end up hitting it off; her ability to see into the subconscious will likely be far more useful than my ability to read the conscious mind."

"…Satorin, didn't you claim that you _dislike_ the way your ability makes you an outcast?" Patchouli asked. "Because I must say, you're awfully interested in meddling in others' affairs."

"I only worry that a cranky Remilia could get in the way of any potential relationship between Flandre and Okuu. It's obvious that Flandre is taken with Okuu, and frankly, I think such a relationship would be beneficial for her." She pondered for a moment. "Okuu, that is. Well, probably Flandre too, but as my pet, Okuu's happiness is very much my business."

Meanwhile, Flandre was approaching the hell raven. "Hi!" she said with her usual cheerful demeanor. "I'm Flandre!"

"I'm Okuu. Why aren't you scared of me? Everyone I meet is scared of me and my powers…"

"Yeah, a lot of people are afraid of me, too. But I don't think you're scary at all! In fact, I think you're pretty cute!"

Utsuho wasn't sure how to respond to this. "Cute?"

"Yeah! You have such pretty hair, and I like your ribbon."

"Um, thanks… I think your hair is very nice, too." Flandre giggled. "And you don't think my third leg looks weird?"

Flandre giggled again. "Not at all, silly! Besides, if you want to talk about weird, just look at my wings. They're really odd!"

Utsuho did so. "They're beautiful!"

"Tee-hee…thank you, Okuu-chan." For someone who had spent so much of her life cooped up in the basement, Flandre was incredibly well-mannered.

"Can I touch them?"

Flandre blushed. "Only if you let me touch your wings," she said.

"My wings? Unyu," she said, as Flandre failed to wait for permission.

"They're so nice and beautiful," Flandre said dreamily.

"You're…really interesting, Flan-chan."

"Okay, that's quite enough of that," Remilia started, but a glare from her younger sister stopped her. "Flandre, come on…"

"You wanted me to get out of the house for a bit, maybe interact with people for once. I'm doing that. Oneesama, please, let me do this. Let me have fun with my new friend." She carefully pronounced each syllable of the word "oneesama".

"…I can't say no to that." She sighed. Flandre knew exactly how to make her older sister's heart melt. "It's my fault you're so sheltered. I'm just…you're my sister, Flandre, and I love you more than anyone else in the world. Forgive my selfish desires."

"Is she…"

"Yes," Satori and Patchouli answered me at the same time. "She just adores Flandre-chan," Pachouli continued, "and is fiercely protective of her innocence."

"Sounds like it might be to a bit of an unhealthy degree…"

"…Yes. It may be the source of her confusion."

"…Well? Go on." Apparently with Utsuho and Flandre now keeping each other busy, the princess had joined our conversation along with her lover.

"She doesn't appear to be able to tell the difference between close platonic love and romantic love, quite possibly because she seems to feel the latter for her sister. As a result, she is under the delusion that she is not interested in women."

"…And you aren't going to tell her?" Mokou asked.

"Hell no. This is as amusing as it gets." Patchouli started to laugh, which turned into a cough. I steadied her.

"That's cruel," I tried to reason.

"Eh, she'll figure it out eventually. Sakuya-san's bound to make sure of that…"

* * *

CCX: I realize that this story is retconning "Panty Thief Omake"/"The Drunken Mikos" somewhat, as those implied that Reimu's feelings for Marisa had always been one-sided when in fact they had been in a relationship before. Actually, it sort of retcons a lot of the MariAri stuff by implying that Marisa and Alice got together shortly after the events of _PCB_, when in fact it seemed as though significant time passed between the two.

Sakuya: …Couldn't you just declare another alternate continuity?

CCX: Of course not. I just figured out a way to salvage it—namely, there was actually a significant period of time in between "The Precious Thing" (when they first get together) and "Panty Thief" (which, by way of the omake, is when Reimu finds out that they're a couple and goes off on a…pity party.) In fact, assuming that "The Drunken Mikos" takes place _after_ whatever it is they were going to go do at the end of "Panty Thief Omake", we can speculate that I don't _need_ to elaborate on what the incident was because _ZUN has already done so_—it's one of the canon games, most likely either _Mountain of Faith_ or _Scarlet Weather Rhapsody_. (Alternatively, the comment about Reimu and Marisa's relationship declining after _PCB_ just means that Marisa wasn't _as_ invested in the relationship anymore because she now was in love with Alice.)

Sakuya: That was probably the most disorganized chapter ever…

CCX: As for you cutting me off last time, I actually realized that it wasn't _strictly_ true in the first place. You see, completely independently (that is, before I'd read the comic), I ended up with almost all ships that are perfectly in line with those present in _Touhou Nekokayou_ or featuring characters not shipped in said comic (and thus, still _plausible_). This pairing goes in direct contrast to the Muffinverse, and I thought this was the first to directly contradict it, but I'd forgotten that Muffin had you paired with Meiling, which clearly isn't the case here.

Sakuya: Indeed. Ja ne!

CCX: Final note-this is now my highest word count on this site!


	8. Chapter 7

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: I own nothing. _Nothing!_

Chapter 7

_My name is Alice Margatroid. I'm a youkai magician, and the lover of the human witch, Marisa Kirisame. At least, she's human _now_. She's trying to become a youkai magician as well, for my sake. I tell her that she's perfect the way she is, but she's stubborn, and she insists that while I say that now, I'd miss her too much when her relatively brief human life ends. And as usual, she's absolutely right…_

"Okay, I _know_ it hasn't been a month this time."

"Yeah, I'm not here for Flandre-chan this time," my beloved told the guard of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. "I'm here to talk to Patchy-san."

"'Talk?'" Meiling seemed skeptical.

"Seriously, China, if I was here to steal more books, would I really announce my presence? Or bring Alice along?"

"Oh, hello, Alice-san. Hmm, I guess you have a point… I'll see if she was expecting you. Hold on…" She took out a two-way radio, which was somewhat of a surprise, but before turning it on, she added, "And my name's Meiling!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She grinned mischievously.

"Do you just do that to annoy her?" I asked.

"Yup."

I giggled. "You're horrible."

"Aren't I just?" She put an arm around me and surprised me with a quick peck on the lips. I've gotten used to these impulsive actions of hers, all very much appreciated. I still don't understand what I did to deserve such a loving partner, especially given the fact that when I first met her, she was with someone else. I've asked Marisa about what happened with her and Reimu, but she always refuses to tell me why they broke up. I heard that Reimu took it rather badly, so I'm assuming Marisa broke it off with her, but…something about what I heard doesn't add up.

Meiling let us through, so evidently Patchouli had given the go-ahead. "Where'd you get that, anyway?" I asked, indicating the two-way.

"Nitori-san recently modernized the mansion. There's an…I think she called it an 'intercom', and I've got this thing as well, to let me contact Sakuya-san easily. Of course, usually she just uses it to yell at me without having to leave the mansion…"

"Nitori-chan's gadgets are pretty cool, ze?" I tried not to wince. Nitori was a very sweet girl, but she was quite clearly infatuated with Marisa and if Marisa noticed, she didn't do anything to dissuade the young kappa. I know that with how long we've been living together, I really should trust Marisa to be faithful to me, but…like I said before, there are some inconsistencies with the things I heard about what Reimu did after her breakup with Marisa. The rumors are that she didn't stay single for long, but…as far as I know, she wasn't with anyone in between Marisa and Sanae, and we didn't even _know _Sanae until shortly after Marisa and I started going out. I mean, I probably shouldn't put too much faith in the rumors considering the source, but…while I'd dismiss it instantly if it were any other member of "Team Nine" (never did understand where that name came from), it's a bit tougher to dismiss what Chen says because of her relationship to Yukari. If Reimu and Sanae had been going out for a bit longer than they had been letting on publicly, Yukari would be the most likely to know. And the extended timeline would put them together right after the incident with the celestial and the strange weather.

…Which was the incident Reimu had been trying to get Marisa to help investigate when she walked in on the two of us together. Oh, please, no… The idea of the laid-back miko getting bent out of shape about anything seemed a bit odd, but I'd initially chalked it up to Marisa's incredible magnetism having that effect on people. Now I'm starting to think that she was perfectly justified in getting angry. "Hmm. Don't usually see you here when you don't have to be," the voice of the Scarlet Devil interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah, Patchy-san's helping me with this 'becoming a youkai magician' thing," Marisa replied.

"Trying to prolong your own life, eh? Well, here's one thing that might extend it a bit. It's…starting to look as though I might not be needing you to entertain Flandre for much longer."

"You sound a bit saddened by that, Remilia-san," Remilia and I were both a bit stunned that Marisa had shown her the level of respect that she demanded but so rarely received, "and I doubt that it's because you enjoy having me around the house. What's wrong?"

"Nothing you need to know," Remilia replied curtly. "Have fun with your studies."

"Hmm…you'd think she'd be in a better mood. She won't have to deal with me for much longer, apparently, and she also made it somewhat clear last time that she doesn't take a terribly positive view of human-youkai relationships such as ours."

"Oh, right, that."

"Yeah, that. Well, whatever the reason, I'm going to have one less difficulty in my life."

"You have a much bigger problem to deal with," I said calmly but firmly.

Marisa noticed the smile on my face and widened her eyes. "Is something wrong, dear? Sweetie? You're kind of scaring me."

"About you and Reimu-san…I've asked you many times what happened between you two, but I realize I've never asked…just who broke it off?"

"I don't see what that matters, but she did. I thought I'd told you that. I guess she didn't think that I was right for someone of her status. Hell, _I_ don't think I'm right for her, sweet as she is. She deserves a good girl like Sanae-chan…and I belong with you."

"Yes, well…you two still seemed fairly close when we started dating. I didn't even realize that you two had broken up, but I guess I figured it might have just happened. Maybe you even broke it off _because_ you had feelings for me. I wouldn't have even be surprised if you had done it right after confessing to me, so that you still had a fallback if I hadn't returned your feelings, nor would I have held it against you. But from what I hear, Reimu-san took the breakup pretty badly. I've heard that from a number of sources. But one source says that she rebounded quite quickly, maybe got serious with Sanae-san a lot sooner than anyone thought, maybe even before we all knew they were together. Except…we didn't _know_ Sanae-san when we started going out. So tell the _truth_ this time…why did she break it off with you?"

"I just told you that I didn't actually know, as well as what I assume."

"Yeah, well, I think it's because she caught us together. Remember when that happened, when she walked in on us?"

"…Right. I'd forgotten about that."

"You two were still together then, weren't you?"

"Of course not! I was with you! Repeatedly!" She was trying to make me blush. She does that a lot.

It wasn't going to work this time. "Yes, but did _she_ know that you two were finished? Or were you still leading her on?"

"I…I don't think so. I mean…she had teased me about my feelings for you for quite some time before I actually confessed. I didn't think she still thought there was an 'us'…we were just friends. Friends who used to be lovers. …And who still got a bit 'playful' at times. I-It was just fun skinship between girls!" She paused. "Oh my god, I'm a horrible person! I'm so sorry, Alice! C-can you ever forgive me?"

"I'm not used to seeing you grovel, Marichu. It's quite unbecoming. Also, you're supposed to cry on someone's _shoulder_. My shoulders are a little higher up."

Marisa gave me one of those grins that she does. "Can't help it, Arinya. You know I can't get enough of you."

We never had quite established if I was Ari-nya and she was Mari-chu because _I_ was the cat and _she_ was the mouse, or if I was the mouse, she was the cat, and we were both adding our verbal tics when saying each other's names. All I knew is that it was extremely cute and I loved it when she called me Arinya and that she would always be my sweet Marichu. "You're absolutely hopeless. I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't love you. I still think you're making a huge mistake, sacrificing your humanity like this, but…you're absolutely right when you say that I'd miss you when you're gone. Forgive me…I overreacted."

"There's nothing for me to forgive. I could never be angry at you."

"Okay, this is getting stupid," two voices said in unison.

"Sorry, Patchy-san," Marisa said, before realizing that Patchouli wasn't the only one who had spoken. "Gah! How long have you been listening, Sakuya-san?"

"Long enough," Sakuya replied. "I envy you two. Even after such a blatant betrayal of trust, your love is so strong that it's water under the bridge just like that."

"I wouldn't say that," I said. "I'm still very angry at Marisa for lying to me, and I'm not too pleased at her attempts to pretend that she didn't realize what she was doing." Patchouli and Sakuya stared at me; I didn't even bother turning around to see Marisa's reaction to my accusation that she hadn't been entirely truthful with me just now. "But yes, I _do_ love her, and I forgive her indiscretions because I know that I need her, and I'm fairly sure that she needs me too. Also because she knows that she's in for a lot of pain if I ever catch her cheating on me."

"The good pain?"

I facefaulted. "No, not the good pain. That's for 'punishing' acts of mischief. Remember, Marisa, you've never beaten me in a spell card battle."

Everyone in the room, Marisa included, seemed shocked by this statement. "What do you mean? I've beaten you before! I mean, most of our spell card battles are just for practice anyway, so we don't even play until there's a winner, but back during the Cherry Blossom Incident…"

"_Reimu-san_ beat me. You didn't."

"Ze? Huh, I guess you're right…but back in Makai—"

"Makai was before the spell card rules were established. But thanks for at least remembering that incident."

"How could I forget? You were such a cute little kid. I knew you'd grow up to be a real beauty; I was just surprised to see it happen so soon." When Reimu and Marisa crossed paths with me during the Cherry Blossom Incident, neither one of them had recognized me as the young girl who had fought them two years prior over their intrusion into Makai. (A/N: Or is it three? Pinning down the official timeline for these games is hard.) Granted, upon mastering the grimoire I'd grown up quite quickly, and Shinki-sama saw my determination to avenge my earlier defeats and allowed me to leave, seeing that I was now able to take care of myself. We still keep in touch, although it isn't easy to send mail between Gensokyo and Makai and so we don't write each other often. Marisa, impulsive rascal that she is, wanted to make things official between us right away once we were sure that it was right, but I had to convince her that we needed to set a date far in advance if we wanted everyone to be able to attend. …It's coming up rather soon, actually.

"Well, regardless…it's nice to see such a loving relationship. There seems to be quite a bit of that floating around these days…"

"Of what?" Marisa and I both asked.

"Love. Or have you not heard the _reason_ that your playdates with Lady Flandre may soon be coming to a close?"

"…No way. _Flandre-chan?_"

"I'm not sure which is odder, that Flandre-san's found someone or that Remilia-san would allow it," I agreed.

"I wasn't actually there when it happened, so I'm not the best one to ask, but it seems that Lady Flandre's visit to Eientei bore some fruit. Maybe Patchouli-san can fill you in." Sakuya left.

"…She's probably going to be brooding for a while now," Patchouli said. "As much fun as this romantic comedy may be, I'm really starting to think I should explain the situation to one of them, just to clear up the misunderstandings."

"Which situation? I know that Sakuya-san is in love with Remi-chan and that Remi-chan doesn't feel the same way, and that the chances of that changing are pretty slim due to Remilia-chan's…odd preferences, but…"

Patchouli smiled. "Ah, but that's just it. Remilia merely _thinks_ she's odd. She's actually quite normal, if not leaning a bit in the _other_ direction thanks to—well, that's not important, although I think you had at least guessed at it the last time you were here." We both nodded; Marisa had told me everything. She had also told parts of it to Reimu, which likely also meant that Sanae knew, but hopefully that was the full extent of it, and besides, Reimu didn't know the whole story. Even telling Reimu could have been risky, though, because Suika is a permanent fixture at the Hakurei Shrine now and she's horrible at keeping secrets, and the last thing _anyone_ wants is one of their secrets getting back to Aya. The fact that Aya hadn't come digging around the Scarlet Devil Mansion recently probably meant that nothing had leaked out. "In between Sakuya-chan's subtle change and Remilia's own revelation regarding Flandre-chan, I would've thought she'd have figured it out by now, but…"

"Ah. That's good to know," Marisa said. "I'm glad I kept my mouth shut, then. I was all ready to tell Sakuya-san the truth about Remi-chan to save her the pain of longing, and now I learn that what I thought was the truth was really Remi-chan lying to herself."

"Coming from you, I'm not sure it would've been effective anyway," I sniped.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you, much like Remilia-san, are well-known to usually be motivated by self-interest. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart."

"How did we get back on _that_ subject?"

"Sorry. I guess I'm still a little bitter."

"Alice…we've been living together for over two years. We're going to be _officially _married in less than a month. I'm _turning myself into a youkai_ in order to be able to spend more time with you. Yes, I had my indiscretions in the past, but for better or for worse, _I'm yours._"

"I-I know…" I looked at her, saddened by my own behavior. "I guess that's just it."

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

"N-NO! No, of course not! I love you, madly, dearly, and hopelessly! I'm just a bit emotional, that's all. After all, marriage and a loss of humanity are both really big commitments, and the latter is irreversible! I'm…just so happy that you're willing to do all this for me, and…I guess I just want to make sure it's all real. That you're not going to leave me forn someone else." It didn't seem that she'd caught me start to suggest who that "someone else" might be—I caught it quickly enough to keep it from being obvious that I'd made a last-second word swap. A raised eyebrow suggested that Patchouli _had_ noticed that I'd mispronounced "for", but she wisely declined to point it out.

"Ah, good. I wouldn't know what to do without you, Arinya."

"Trying to soften me up now, are we?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes," I said, and kissed her.

* * *

After the day's session was over, I talked to Sakuya. "I hear you've been a bit hung up over this relationship thing, huh?"

"What? Oh, yeah…"

"I'm sure it'll work itself out eventually, Sakuya-san. These things usually do. Also…what's this I hear about a 'subtle change'?"

"Erm…I don't follow."

"Patchouli-san said something about you having a 'subtle change' lately."

"So Patchouli-san has noticed a difference in my behavior…"

"We've _all_ noticed a difference in your behavior. Patchouli-san has obviously just noticed more than one."

Sakuya gave a slight smile. "I received some advice on the matter. To try to be more attentive of the little things that will make my lady happy. I like to think that I've been successful, but…it still seems like she's been more distant lately. I'm hoping it's just a side effect of this whole Flandre-Utsuho thing."

"Wait. _What?_ Utsuho…Satori-san's pet? That hell raven? _That's_ Flandre-san's new friend?"

"Yes, that would be a good word for it. Lady Remilia seems to be reacting as if it were something stronger, and while I don't doubt that their feelings _are_ stronger than those of mere friends, they both seem too innocent for anything objectionable to come of it."

"Wow." Note to self: talk to Marisa about this, _immediately_. Despite the somewhat reluctant nature of Marisa's "friendship" with Flandre, she liked the young vampire enough to extend an invitation to her for the wedding. The "and Guest" possibility hadn't even been considered, and besides most of the Scarlet Devil Mansion would also have to be there—Sakuya and Patchouli were both considered friends and Remilia would insist on accompanying Flandre—in a way, she _was_ Flandre's "and Guest". And as agreeable as we were to adding onto the guest list, no one from the Underground had made our list, and if any of them had to be there, the one with the power of nuclear fusion was probably the _last_ one we wanted. "I…guess I'll be seeing you, then."

"Indeed."

"I found out a bit more about this Flandre-san thing," I told Marisa, "and you're never going to believe who the other girl is."

"Ah, so it _is_ a girl? That's good, I suppose. Good for Sakuya-san, anyway. Are we going to have to add another person to our guest list?"

"If it turns out to be serious, we may not have a choice, but I hope not."

"You'd deny Flan-chan her girlfriend's company at our wedding?"

"Utsuho Reiuji."

"What?"

"You heard me. Even putting aside that whole geyser debacle, can we really have a guest who is literally radioactive?"

"…That _is_ disturbing. And by the same logic that put Remilia-chan on our guest list, we'd have to invite Satori-san as well, at the very least… Yeah, hopefully Flandre-chan will be fine with it. It's not like we had any idea that she'd actually be dating—that _really_ sounds weird to say—when we made the invitations, after all. Now, if you don't mind me changing the subject for a moment…why _did_ you suddenly decide to confront me about Reimu today?"

"…"

"Alice? Arinya?"

"It's…nothing."

* * *

CCX: Holy crap that was long. Anyway, I looked back at Chapter 2 to see what honorific Remilia had been using toward her sister (which was silly, since they interacted in Chapter 6), and was disturbed to find that I hadn't used honorifics at all at the time, so I did a little fix job. Anyway, the delay has been caused by a school project that's driving me bananas, as well as the arrival of a _different_ Black-White. ;)

Sakuya: And once again, our story seems secondary to something else going on.

CCX: I guess I can't deny that. This has, in essence, outgrown its initial status as a fic devoted to one specific ship and one particular group of characters, and has expanded to encompass much of the Touhou canon and fanon. I'm also pleased with my continued efforts towards setting a timeline into effect are going. "The Precious Thing" takes place shortly before _Mountain of Faith_; "Panty Thief" and its associated omake take place right before _Scarlet Weather Rhapsody_ and "The Drunken Mikos" immediately after it, with "The Extension" also taking place not too long after _Scarlet Weather Rhapsody_. This takes place some three years after that…something doesn't quite seem right about that. Based solely on the Sanae chapter, I want to say that it couldn't have been much more than a year since "The Drunken Mikos", but I think that canonically there was more than a year between _Scarlet Weather Rhapsody _and _Undefined Fantastic Object_, which judging by Chapter 5 has clearly already happened. I wanted to add a little bit of extra time so that if necessary, _Ten Desires_ could also be placed before this fic, but it's probably not worth the effort.

Sakuya: So retcon it. Say that it was only two years. While even that seems like a long time for Sanae to be acting like the newcomer, both to Gensokyo and to her relationship with Reimu, it still puts it a little bit past _Undefined Fantastic Object._

CCX: I changed it to "over two". Which would have been true when it was "three", but can now still be true even with it much closer to two than to three. Still, I think the hardest part of keeping it K+ is the continual references back to stories that were rated higher. (Speaking of which, I don't really have an exact timeframe for where "The Masochism Tango" and "Imperishable Flame" fit into the canon, and "Fireflies" and "Lyrical Dreams" have yet to interact with any other fics and therefore may not even be in my main canon, although the current assumption is that they are.)

Sakuya: And "It Wouldn't Be Twilight without Them?"

CCX: Set exactly where it sits relative to the _writing_ of this fic: in between Chapter 2 and Chapters 3 & 4. Chapter 1 picks up right where the prologue left off, but there is a break of a few days within Chapter 1, and then Chapter 2 takes place about a week after that. Chapter 3 is a week and a half later, with Chapter 4 taking place at the same time. Chapter 5 takes place a few days after that, with Chapter 6 once again happening more or less at the same time—because we all know that a trip for personal matters, such as the one you made in Chapter 5, would have to be at a time when Remilia was out of the mansion anyway. It's been over a week since Chapter 6, so I'd say that a little over a month has passed since the start of this fic as of this chapter. Marisa's next schedule playdate with Flandre would probably be about a week away, maybe slightly more.

Sakuya: Wow. I'm impressed. You're actually spacing things out rather than assuming it all happens in a big jumble.

CCX: Yep. Now, I still have other work to do, so that'll be all for now. Ja ne!


	9. Chapter 8

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I don't own _Touhou Project_ or these characters.

Chapter 8

_My name is Koishi Komeiji, and I'm a satori. I closed my third eye in order to block out my mind-reading abilities, and as a result, I can see into a person's subconscious. Mercifully, this ability is a lot easier to keep under control—while surface thoughts can be quite interesting, much of what occurs in the subconscious is downright disturbing…or at the very least, embarrassing. Unfortunately, my older sister has become quite nosy as of late, and so I've been assigned to do some snooping at the Scarlet Devil Mansion under the pretense of accompanying her pet hell raven on a…well, Satori called it a "date", but somehow I doubt that's really accurate._

"Do you, now?" my sister asked—damn mind-reading. Utsuho was, well, actually kind of dressed up, though the effect was muted by her third arm and the whatever-it-was on her leg.

"Is there some reason you're trying to make this thing happen?"

"I'm just trying to make Okuu happy. The dress was her idea."

"I didn't even think she had anything like that. Sleeveless?"

"I borrowed it from Orin," Utsuho said. "She was happy to help." Of course; the color should've been a dead giveaway, no pun intended. Utsuho, I'd pretty much only ever seen her in one outfit—although the same could be said of a lot of Gensokyo's residents, or at the very least, they don't have much variety in their wardrobes.

"Well, you look very beautiful," I told her. I wasn't really sure how this was going to go, but Utsuho did seem determined to make a good impression. I kind of felt guilty about my own role in this, since I've never actually met most of the Mansion's residents and would also be making a first impression—in fact, they were probably less familiar with me than with her. It might be nice to be able to see my own subconscious sometime. Once I was satisfied with my own appearance, we set off.

"Koi-san?"

"Yes, Okuu-chan? What is it?"

"Why are you taking me to Flan-chan's house instead of Satori-san?"

"…Satori thinks it would be better if I went, because my Third Eye is closed." Utsuho understood the problems that Satori's third eye often causes her in social situations, so this was a conveniently misinformative way of stating the truth.

"Halt! No one enters without the master's permission!"

"Very well, then. We'll wait while you confirm that we were expected."

"But I want to see Flan-chan!" Utsuho said.

"Quiet, Utsuho-san," I said, feeling that the familiar name wasn't appropriate here, "Let the gatekeeper do her job." I don't normally pry into people's subconscious without a good reason, but this girl's was practically screaming out for validation, and letting her actually do her job seemed like a good way to boost her confidence. It wasn't long before we were allowed in. A fairy maid showed us towards Flandre's quarters. _"A basement?_" I thought.

"Um…I don't really have the key to Flandre's room," the fairy said, right before the door made a pancake of her. "Okuu-chan? Okuu-chan!"

The one who had forced the door out of its place in the wall was a small blonde girl with a very pale complexion and something that could only loosely be described as "wings" coming out of her back. I assumed this had to be Flandre. Odd…Utsuho may be a bit childish, but I still didn't expect someone so young. Then I saw her smile and remembered _"Oh, right. Vampire. She's probably older than I am."_

"Lady Flandre!" an older…no, that wasn't really right; this one was human, so she was younger than me even though she looked older…well, a very dignified-looking maid chastised her. "I thought we had this under control."

"Sorry, Sakuya-chan," the little vampire replied. "I thought so too. Guess the door wasn't as strong as we thought." I couldn't help but giggle. The fact that Sakuya didn't suggested that she had been thinking the same way as Flandre; that building stronger doors was far more effective than trying to curb Flandre's destructive tendencies. Although given her reputation, I would have expected her subconscious to be a much bloodier place. She didn't _feel_ like someone with uncontrollable violent urges.

"You need more patience. We would've gotten the key soon enough."

"Why do I even still need to be locked up in there? I've gotten much better, and it's not like I'm going to go anywhere."

"It was never about keeping you in, my lady; it was always about keeping others out. And it's things like _that_," she pointed at the heavy door and the cracks in the wall where it had impacted, where the fairy maid was regenerating, "are why it's still necessary."

"Sounds like a perfect match, then," I said. "Koishi Komeiji; pleased to meet you."

"Sakuya Izayoi. Head maid-slash-babysitter."

"Babysitter?" Flandre made a disgusted face. "I'm not a baby!"

"I wasn't referring solely to you, my lady," Sakuya replied.

"The lady of the house?" I asked.

Sakuya smiled. "Indeed. While she is more than capable of taking care of herself, she can be quite impetuous…and occasionally she simply lacks the will to do so."

"Some of my pets have that problem. It's because I spoil them too much." Sakuya understood what I meant and nodded. Interesting…I was told that I would need to probe the elder Scarlet's mind for feelings for her maid, but I detected no subconscious longing as Sakuya spoke of the mistress that she had unrequited feelings for, in less-than-flattering terms no less. "I'm not really sure what to do now."

"Let them be, perhaps?" A droll tone. "While I definitely think Sakuya should stand by so as to be able to react if they start causing too much destruction, these girls shouldn't need constant supervision."

"L-lady Remilia?"

"Do you disagree?"

"N-no, not at all, my lady. I am just…surprised that you would be so permissive."

"Thank you, oneesama," Flandre said sweetly, and it didn't take a mind reader to see Remilia melt.

"Surprise withdrawn," Sakuya said dryly. Remilia scowled, and I thought this might be a key moment to see what her subconscious was saying…

Hmm…either something changed in between these two in between Eientei and the present, or my dearest sister misread a situation. "What are you grinning about?" Remilia asked me.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"You're one of those satoris, right?"

"I shut my third eye so as to suppress my racial ability. I don't read minds," I said simply.

Remilia still looked suspicious. "Sakuya, keep this one entertained." I almost protested her rudeness before realizing that I hadn't actually introduced myself to her. "I'm going to go talk to Patchouli." Anyone looking into my mind would have found me to be a bit nervous. Patchouli was a friend of Satori's, or rather, someone who was able to put up with her, and as such she knew of my abilities. I could only pray that she would merely confirm what I told Remilia and not reveal what I hadn't.

"I apologize for Lady Remilia's rudeness. She's really not as rough as she likes to make herself out to be."

"'Rough'? That's a curious choice of words given that she seems to style herself a lady."

"Ah…yes, well, perhaps it was a poor choice of words." A lie, of course; it seemed that "rough" was a word that Sakuya thought quite applicable to Remilia.

"Was it? What do you really think of Remilia-san?"

"I would have assumed you already knew."

"I know what I've heard. My…instincts seem to indicate that what I've heard is inaccurate."

"Unlike my mistress, _I_ am on a fairly friendly basis with many of the residents of Gensokyo, including the Hakurei shrine maiden and the black-white witch. I know that you have mental powers of your own, even though you do not have your sister's ability, Komeiji-san." Hmm. Last-name basis. Didn't see that one coming. It could easily be passed off as old-fashioned politeness, though the tone of her voice suggested the exact opposite.

"Well, then, you likely know why my sister declined to come here herself."

"…Satori-san sent you here?" I wryly thought, _"_She_ gets first-name basis?"_, which was stupid because Sakuya couldn't exactly refer to my sister by her last name when talking to me—we have the same last name.

"…I've probably said too much."

"I wasn't there when Lady Flandre and Utsuho-san first met, so I can only assume that my mistress was the intended target of this trip."

"She was."

"And…?"

"…I can honestly say that I haven't found anything hidden in her subconscious." That was true. I hadn't seen much of Remilia's subconscious, but what I did read was genuine anger when Sakuya teased her. Subconsciously, she _wanted_ to lash out. _Consciously_, she didn't give in to those urges. I couldn't confirm it, but I believed that Remilia's feelings for her maid were, in fact, fully realized.

It was at this point that said vampire returned, still looking a tad suspicious. "Patchouli confirmed that you don't share your sister's ability," she allowed, "though she seemed amused to learn that you were here. Is your sister playing at something?"

"Always," I replied.

Remilia smiled, confident that I found my sister just as insufferable as everyone else did. "It sounds like you don't really like your sister too much, Koishi-san," she said.

"She's…a bit inappropriately blunt. I can tell that she realizes how off-putting her candor can be, but it just comes naturally to her. And…I would say that I often disagree with her. She is…hard to deal with. But I can't really say that I dislike her."

"Everyone has their faults. Some just have more than others." Behind her, I could see Sakuya grinning and wishing that she could say something. Her expression returned to normal, however, as Remilia turned around, almost as though she _expected_ Sakuya to speak up.

"That's very generous of you."

"No it isn't." I wasn't sure how to respond to this, leading to an awkward pause. This was going nowhere. Nothing in Remilia's subconscious pointed towards any unrealized feelings for Sakuya, while _Sakuya's_ subconscious suggested that the disdain she expressed for her mistress was genuine rather than just taking out her frustrations at her feelings not being returned. Normally I hate my sister's nosiness, but I found myself wishing I could open my Third Eye covertly, this situation was becoming such a curiosity. There didn't seem to be any trouble emanating from the basement, either…I halfway considered searching down _there_, just to break up the monotony of the silence, but this was the type of behavior I abhorred in Satori and it really wouldn't do to start being a hypocrite. When the date came to an end and with it, mercifully, the awkward small talk, I was all too happy to get out of there.

"So, it looks like you had a good time," my sister said when we arrived at her home.

"How do you figure _that?_" I asked.

"What? Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you, Koishi, nor was I reading minds. Were things…not as good for you?" I was somewhat alarmed to see that in my own distress I had failed to notice that Utsuho had quite visibly had an enjoyable visit, and was a bit concerned as to what might have happened. That's one subconscious I don't think I'll be entering for awhile.

"It was…a bit awkward. And oddly unfruitful."

"So the situation isn't as we'd hoped? That's a shame…"

"Honestly…I can't tell if the outlook is bad or good. On the one hand, I didn't detect any subconscious feelings towards Sakuya in Remilia. On the other, the feelings I _did_ detect in her subconscious suggest that she may consciously feel something for Sakuya—I'm a little surprised you didn't pick it up yourself. But the most worrying factor is that I spent the entire time in the room with both of them and didn't feel the slightest bit of longing for Remilia in Sakuya's mind. If I didn't know better, I'd sooner think that Remilia was the one with unrequited feelings."

"…Really… That's very strange."

"I know…"

"I was referring to the fact that you seem just as interested as I am. When you left, you were considering not even doing this."

"…They're very interesting people."

* * *

CCX: That was longer than I expected, and took longer, too. I kind of expected to end up with a throwaway chapter because I'd managed to get myself hyped up for Chapter 9, but instead, I came up with something solid—and managed to work the running gag, in letter if not in spirit. This chapter ended up being rather balanced between Remilia and Sakuya, possibly even focusing more on the latter despite it being the former's turn.

Sakuya: Well, the last one barely focused on either of us, so it all balances out.

CCX: Yes, well, there will be other chapters in the future like that, I think, now that I've established a beta storyline.

Sakuya: You mean Lady Flandre's relationship?

CCX: I mean Marisa and Alice's wedding. Of course, the next chapter will have only an incidental relationship with the storyline at all, being a ➈ chapter and all.

Sakuya: So Team ➈ is going to take the stage next chapter?

CCX: Nope. Ja ne!


	10. Interlude 9

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Disclaimer. But less than usual because there are OCs.

Interlude ➈

_My name is Aya Shamameiru, ace reporter of the Bunbunmaru! Except…the news has been pretty slow lately. My last big story was two weeks ago when the Moriya Shrine just packed up and moved to the Hakurei Shrine. I'm going to be getting some side work as a wedding photographer, but…I'm still bored._

"The usual," I said. Junichi Katsuhara took the order, and I found myself being chatted up by the proprietor. "Must be a really slow news cycle if you're in here, Aya-chan. You know the regulars get jumpy when they see a youkai."

"Yeah, it really is, Koharu-san. I'm out of my mind."

"Perhaps I could help you pass the time…"

"Just my drink, 6/1."

"Why do you keep calling me 'six-one'?"

"Cuz it's your name. June as in the sixth month of the year; ichi as in one. 6/1."

"Why won't you give me a chance, Aya-chan?"

"Because I'm not that desperate. I notice you've only been hitting on the rare youkai that comes in here; have all of the human women turned you down already?"

"The men too," Koharu said.

"If you're looking for a scoop, _I_ might be able to help…Aya-chin." A honeyed voice no sane youkai wants to hear.

"With all due respect, Yukari-san, I doubt anything you have could be worth your price."

"My price is a pittance compared to the trouble it will take you to run the interviews. Seems that the Scarlet Devil Mansion isn't just 'scarlet' with blood these days."

"You're bluffing. I mean, maybe I'd believe that that maid was taking up with the gatekeeper or even the librarian, but…"

"Nope. You intrigued yet?"

"…I am."

"The maid is taken with her mistress, though it's uncertain what Remi-chan feels for her. And the younger one, her lover is from outside the mansion…"

I raced off, happy to get my scoop, and found myself in a line of gaps that opened almost onto themselves. I had to quickly brake to keep from shooting through the same gap ad nauseam. "Nuh-uh-uh, Aya-chin, you know the price!"

"Junichi-kun, it looks like you're going to need to be getting Aya-chan a lot more of her usual. Your usual room, Miss Youkai of Boundaries?" Yukari nodded. Oh my…this was not going to be pleasant…

* * *

Sakuya: That was…awfully short.

CCX: I _did_ say that the full Chapter 9 would be a _Phantasm_ chapter…

Sakuya: …Oh. Okay, then, I take it that the "payment" is…

CCX: *nods* Ja ne!


	11. Chapter 10

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Sadly, we're back to not owning characters here.

CCX: I don't know which will be done first, this or the _Phantasm_ version of the previous chapter…but it looks like Night 3 of "Lyrical Dreams" may be delayed for awhile, because I really suck at writing songfics and yet I can't figure out how to make it work without the song. Which is really a shame because the pairing that will have been introduced there is going to be appearing in this fic within the next couple of chapters, confirming that yes, Lyrical Dreams is part of my main canon.

Sakuya: Just get on with the story.

Chapter 10

_I'm Reimu Hakurei, age 17. For the past, um, let's call it a decade and a half or so, I've been the lone shrine maiden of the Hakurei Shrine, protector of the border between the old world and Gensokyo. Of course, now I'm but one of two shrine maidens of the Hakurei-Moriya Shrine. Hmm…maybe Sanae and _I_ should make it official, too. "Reimu Kotiya"? Nah, doesn't sound right, and besides the Hakurei line is very important. "Sanae Hakurei", though…I like it. Out of respect to Marisa and Alice, I'll wait a little while to bring it up, but once those two return from their honeymoon, I'm going to pop the question._

"I still don't see why I'm not the maid of honor," I said.

"Because _I'm_ the one who will be wearing the dress, not Marisa," Alice replied. "Rinnosuke-kun is going to be her best man."

I sighed. Alice brought up a good point—Marisa was far more natural as the groom, at least compared to the women she's dated. Not that we're really talking about that… "And yet, I'm at your bachelorette party rather than Marisa's."

"It's _your_ shrine."

"Alice-chan isn't exactly big on trusting Marisa-chan with other potential girlfriends right now," Patchouli said, "Not sure why she doesn't care about Rinnosuke-san, though."

Alice looked a bit flushed. "That's not important," she said, "and I don't really appreciate your implication."

"I was _there_ when you had your fight. I even caught your little slip-up, Alice-chan. Obviously there are certain people you're especially concerned about."

"_Yeah, and you're probably _on_ that list,"_ I thought, though I was surprised at where her gaze went. I started to ask about the fight, but Sanae interjected, "Well, Reimu-chan shouldn't be among them. She knows that she'll have a couple of angry goddesses to deal with if she even _thinks_ about getting back together with Marisa-chan." Ah, Sanae…it's cute when you get all passive-aggressive like that.

"I like the way you think, Sanae-san. We could definitely be great friends."

"So anyway, what was this fight all about?"

"Something regarding your relationship with Marisa-san," Sakuya said, "namely that it was still going on long after they had already started going out."

"I swear I didn't know that!" I protested. "Wait, if that's the case, why are _you_ here?"

"I know, Reimu-chan. I don't blame you for that at all. It's Marisa I'm angry at. …And Sakuya-san is actually a friend of mine."

"And yet you're still marrying her?"

"But of course. Right now she's only bound to be faithful by moral obligations. Once we're married, she'll be _legally_ bound to be faithful."

"Sounds good to me," Sanae said.

"You're not suggesting that _I'm_ unfaithful?"

"Not at all, Rei-chan. I just don't think you ever really got over Marisa-chan and that it would be best if that option was completely off the table."

"Nae-chan, please, don't do this."

"And _this_ is why there shouldn't be any couples at a bachelorette party."

A beat as I processed the voice that had just spoken. "What the hell are _you_ doing here? I thought I banned you from this shrine!"

"That's actually a very good question. Am I considered a potential rival too, Alice-san? Even though I haven't even _seen_ my former protégé since shortly after you two met? Not that I'm physically capable of having intimate relations with Mari-chan even if I wanted to."

"More of a precautionary measure than anything else, Mima-san. Besides, your 'mentoring' left Marisa with an awful lot of bad habits."

"And here I thought you found her little quirks to be endearing. Unless you're trying to blame _me_ for this issue regarding Mari-chan's fidelity."

"Of course not. Like you said, you haven't had any contact with her in years. I'm surprised we even found you." And I kind of wish they hadn't. I specifically forbade Mima from the shrine, and we're going to be hosting the wedding as well. Thankfully, our resident eternal party animal chose this moment to start bringing the alcohol in a major way. Just what I needed…this night was going to be a long one.

* * *

"…And so I'm just worried that if she felt the need to carry on multiple relationships as a human, what's she going to be like as a youkai? Really, she isn't just satisfied with one partner?" For all of the idiotic things she does, Marisa can be pretty damn smart sometimes. I had initially wondered why she had chosen to have the parties two days before the wedding instead of the day before, especially seeing as how most of Alice's guests wouldn't be arriving until tomorrow, but obviously she knew that the wedding could easily be ruined by having it right after the bachelorette parties…and come to think of it, with how young Alice was when she left Makai, this is almost _certainly_ a side of her that they've never seen, and it's probably best to leave it that way.

"I think you're overthinking things, Alice-san," Sakuya tried to pacify her. "She hasn't done anything recently to give you reason to distrust her, has she?"

"People don't just _change_, Sakuya-san, no matter how much you want them to. A lesson I'm sure you're learning." A low blow, though mercifully Sakuya wouldn't necessarily _have_ to change Remilia in order to get that relationship to work. "And she's all over the place, too. Reimu-chan, I can understand, for reasons both justifiable and selfish," I pondered what she meant by that, "and with her insatiable thirst for new spells and such, it's only natural that she'd like Patchouli-san as well." As I expected, Patchouli's reaction to this was one of shock. "But _this_…this is the one that bothers me the most." She was no longer addressing Sakuya. "What could she possibly see in _you_?" So, it wasn't my imagination; Patchouli _had_ been looking in Nitori's direction when she mentioned Alice's slip-up and "certain people" that she was concerned about. "Oh, that's right…she _doesn't_! She only thinks of you as a friend, and is too _oblivious_ to see that you want something more!" The shy kappa shrank back at this. "Or at least that's the impression she gives off. I don't even know any more; maybe you two _have_ done it and I just don't know about it. So? Anybody want to confess to anything?"

"Alice-chan…please, calm down," I begged, "and lay off the alcohol. I know that Marisa can have that effect on people, but drinking that heavily will lead to doing something you'll regret."

"'Something you'll regret', huh? Is that the way you see what happened that night? Something you wish had never happened? Because you certainly waited an awfully long time to let me know!"

Oh shit… "I didn't mean it like _that_, Nae-chan! You know how much I love you! But we agreed that what happened that night probably shouldn't have happened, and that we should just start over and do things properly. You agreed with me about that!" It looked as though Sanae saw the truth in that, and was about to calm down. Unfortunately…

"So the rumors are true, then. Once you saw that Marichu was taken, you wasted no time before hopping in bed with someone else."

This was not good. Sanae was already mad enough at me, and now that the idea's been planted that she was just a rebound girl…this could be it for our relationship. "Nae-chan, please, just stay calm…" She brushed me away.

"DON'T…_YOU…__**EVER…**_TALK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND THAT WAY!" Oh dear, she's doing the windy thing again, the one where pieces of the ground start flying into the air around her. Well, at least her anger isn't directed at me…I'm both grateful and surprised. Still…

"No, bad Nae-chan! Even if she is being rude, you can't attack the guest of honor!" It was too late, though; a full-scale battle had broken out. So much for being great friends…

"Ah, now _this_ is my kind of party!"

"Go away, Mima." Also, given time to process the conversation that led up to this…Marichu?

* * *

With the guest of honor unconscious, the party didn't last much longer. "Well, that was a nightmare," I said. "Still, thanks for defending my honor, even when I told you not to."

"Don't think you're out of the woods, Reimu-chan. Alice-san had some pretty good points, and your comment about regretting our first night together isn't exactly winning you much sympathy."

"Look, I'm sorry. I probably had a little too much myself, and I wasn't thinking straight, just trying to find a way to calm Alice-chan down."

"Alcohol makes it more difficult to lie, Reimu, so don't try to blame your comments on that."

"Do you want to know how much I 'regret' everything between us? Because after this debacle, I think I've lost any 'respect' I might have had for Marisa-chan and Alice-chan, and it was only out of respect for them that I was delaying this, although I'll admit that they were the reason I started thinking about it." I got down on one knee and pulled out the ring. "Sanae Kotiya…will you marry me?" No answer. "Uh, Sanae?"

"She fainted. I think you put her into shock, Reimu-chan," Suwako said.

"Oh, Sanae…you really are something else." I held my unconscious lover and kissed her square on the lips. "You deserve a good rest."

* * *

Sakuya: "Age 17"?

CCX: My little joke about Reimu's ambiguous age. Obviously not her real age, but what she claims to be.

Sakuya: This is getting further and further away from being about Lady Remilia and me.

CCX: You'll return to the limelight eventually. Anyway, this marks the first time that a PC-98 character has appeared in the story, though it certainly won't be the last. It also could arguably deserve a rating bump due to Alice's little drunken temper tantrum, but again, I think we're still okay. Hopefully I'll also get_ Phantasm_ ➈ finished soon. Ja ne!


	12. Chapter 11

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: We've been through a prologue and 10 chapters already; shouldn't this be obvious by now?

Chapter 11

_My name is Youmu Konpaku. I'm a human…well, half-human. My other half is…well, I prefer not to think about it, but I'm half-ghost. Thing is, I'm not really terribly fond of ghosts…except Lady Yuyuko, of course. I just wish she'd take life a little more seriously. I mean unlife…argh, this is so confusing._

"This isn't really much of a party," my mistress complained, or as close to complaining as she ever gets, "I was hoping to really show Youmu-chan a good time!"

"Don't you do that on a regular basis already?" Marisa asked. "Not that I can really disagree; Alice commandeered most of the fun people. I was really hoping to catch up with my old mentor, Mima-sama; I haven't seen her in years. You'd probably enjoy her company, Yuyuko-san."

"Not since the Makai incident, right? I was surprised to hear that that little girl was your bride-to-be; I'd never taken you to be one of _those_ people, Mari-chan, especially with how close you were with Reimu-chan at the time. Although this party certainly does seem to support that notion."

"…Didn't we see you at the end of the 60-year-cycle? Alice-chan was already all grown up by then."

The green-haired youkai, I didn't know her name, thought about this. "Was that the same person? I see the resemblance, but…"

"…she grew up too quickly. Yeah, we all found that a bit weird, Yuuka-san."

"She brings up a good point though, Marisa-chan. What _is_ the usual gang of idiots doing here?" Remilia asked.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" cried the ice fairy, Cirno.

"I never named any names," Remilia replied smugly, and most of the other guests couldn't help but smile.

"Hell if I know. Probably about half of this party is working the wedding rather than attending as guests; the birdbrain pretty much just _insisted_ that Team 9 would be taking care of the catering and there wasn't much room for argument; I haven't the slightest idea why."

"Ah, I don't really know why Mysti-chan did that, either," Cirno admitted.

"Well, then, I'm sure there's enough room for _another_ birdbrain at this wedding…right?" Remilia said, and it didn't sound like this point was up for debate, either.

"Ah, Flan-chan, you're so lucky to have a big sister who takes care of you so much," Marisa said. Flandre didn't quite seem to understand what was going on.

"I'm surprised you didn't put up more of a fight regarding the 9-balls catering, Mari," Rinnosuke said. "Was there some reason that you figured it was a good thing?"

Marisa grinned. "Yeah, there was. We figured that invitation or not, Yukari-sama would just crash the party. At least this way, we get the voice of reason to keep her at least somewhat in check." The "voice of reason" was Miss Yukari's shikigami, Ran, whose own shikigami was among the members of "Team 9". It was a somewhat appropriate appellation, as while Ran had plenty of quirks of her own, she was far more grounded than her eccentric mistress. Of course, the idea that anyone could "keep Yukari in check" was fallacy.

"Ah…Yukari-san's going to be there?" Aya sounded nervous.

"She hasn't officially been invited, but we're assuming she'll be there. Something wrong, Aya-chan?"

"N-no, nothing…"

"Seriously, though, a lot of your guests look awfully young, Marisa-chan."

"Some of them are, some of them aren't. That's just how it is with youkai."

A pause. "Isn't there _anything_ we can do to liven up this party?" Both Lady Yuyuko and Rinnosuke spoke at once.

"I wish. If only we could stage a raid on the other party…"

"…That's a great idea!"

"What? No it's not! That defeats the whole purpose of bachelorette parties!"

"Loosen up, Marisa-chan. Live a little!"

"Gah! Yukari-sama!" The tengu reporter sped away from the party as soon as Miss Yukari arrived. "Huh…okay, what did you do to Aya-chan?"

"That's none of your business. I take it my invitation just got lost somewhere?"

"Well, it _is_ pretty tough to get in touch with you unless you decide to just show up…but we didn't think it was even necessary. You'd show up even if you weren't invited." Miss Yukari seemed unsure of how to respond to this.

"They know you well, Yukari-chan," Lady Yuyuko said.

Well, at least things were sort of quieting down…even if most of the ruckus was about things being too quiet. I managed to grab some food and escape to the garden, thinking myself to be alone. "These flowers are quite lovely," a voice mused, proving me wrong.

"Er, thank you," I said. "Lady Yuyuko is so very fond of them. I have to work so hard to maintain the garden for her…but she rewards me for my work so very generously."

"Oh, you're the gardener here? My compliments, then. There aren't nearly enough people who appreciate the value of flowers these days."

I bowed. "Thank you, Miss…Yuuka-san, was it?"

"Although I suppose that technically speaking, these flowers are dead too, aren't they? This being the Netherworld…why _is_ Mari-chan having her bachelorette party in a place like this, anyway? Not that it isn't beautiful, but…you know, _Netherworld._"

"I was surprised when Lady Yuyuko told me that we would be hosting Marisa-san's bachelorette party, too. But with so many of the friends she made when she investigated the Eternal Winter incident being undead, it only seemed to make sense to hold it here."

"…I do remember there being an unusually long winter a number of years back."

"…Yeah, that was Lady Yuyuko's fault. She wanted to release the seal on the demon cherry tree, so we were collecting spring to make it bloom. Reimu-san and Marisa-san stopped us. …It was for the best. There was a very good _reason_ that the tree had been sealed. And now that Miss Yukari is here as well, there's only one person from that incident that's missing from this party." (CCX: Not strictly true—not everyone from PCB got invitations. There is, however, only one PCB boss/midboss at the other party.)

"You expect that to mean something to me?"

"Alice-san."

"…I see. So that particular incident holds special meaning to Marisa-chan."

"We never did find out why Alice-san was there, so close to the gate to the Netherworld."

"But that was the first time she met the fully grown Alice-san, right?" I nodded.

"So _this_ is where you got off to!" Lady Yuyuko had finally noticed that I'd gone off. "We finally wore down Marisa-chan's resolve, and we're off to crash Alice-chan's bachelorette party."

"Hmm…this should be interesting," Yuuka said.

"I don't suppose you can talk them out of this, Youmu-chan?" Marisa asked hopefully.

"Y-you know I'm pretty much a slave to Lady Yuyuko's whims," I replied apologetically.

"Ooooof course you are." She sighed. "Well, at least Alice's party can't _possibly_ be worse than this one."

* * *

The Hakurei Shrine—I mean, Hakurei-Moriya Shrine—was in disarray, and the guests…I saw no guests. "I don't believe it. Alice's party was even worse than mine. What the hell happened here?"

"Big fight. Cut the party short. I've still got plenty of beer if you guys want to party," Suika offered. Rinnosuke was the only one who immediately took her up on the offer, though Miss Yukari was quick to pull out some wine—both she and Lady Yuyuko preferred wine. The Scarlet sisters left, Remilia saying that there was no point in staying here if Sakuya and Patchouli were both back at the mansion.

"Maybe later. I'm sure I'll need something to drink as soon as I get some answers," Marisa said, heading into the shrine. Somehow, the addition of Suika made the previously-lifeless party "lively" (ironically enough), and it wasn't long before Reimu came out, complaining about the noise. "You brought your entire _party_ here? Marisa-san, you're _unbelievable!_"

"They kinda brought _me_," Marisa replied. Odd…that was the first time I ever remembered hearing Reimu refer to Marisa with an honorific.

"Just…just get them out of here."

"You heard her. Party's over, people!"

"No it isn't!" was the overwhelming reply.

"Oh, god, please don't tell me you've been giving _all_ of these people alcohol," Reimu reprimanded Suika. "You know what we said—no giving alcohol to fairies!"

"Don't worry; we've been keeping them—well, Cirno—away from the alcohol," Ran said.

"Right, I keep forgetting that Dai-chan's more mature than most fairies. Well, I still have concerns about the rest of Team 9."

"…Some of them are more mature than they look," Daiyousei said. "I'm not too worried about Mystia-chan or Wriggle-chan."

"…I don't follow."

"That's good, because I doubt they'd be happy to find out that I was talking about it."

"…I think I understand, and I think I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that."

Daiyousei smiled. "That's probably for the best."

"So when you sent all of Alice's guests away, where did Mima-sama end up?" Marisa asked.

"Don't know, don't care," Reimu replied, and it was at this point that Lady Yuyuko led me away and tried to get me drunk. The rest of the night…it's not important.

* * *

Sakuya: By which you mean "it will be elucidated in a _Phantasm_ chapter", right?

CCX: Nah, there's nothing to tell. Yuyuko's too drunk to really force much of anything on Youmu at the moment. They don't really go terribly far on this particular night. Also…the Phantasms_ are_ still in first-person…and can you really see Youmu narrating one of those?

Sakuya: I guess not…

CCX: There _is,_ however, a new omake going up _here_. Originally it was going to be taking place "after Chapter 11", but when I realized just how little I had for Marisa's party I ended up making the decision to have their party "move", and it becomes something that happens during the chapter, but out of earshot of the chapter's narrator. Also, I think the tying-together of the canon might be complete.

Sakuya: Wait, wha—

CCX: Ja ne!


	13. Chapter 12

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

CCX: As I'm sure you no doubt already figured out, Mima was lying about being physically incapable of having intimate relations with Marisa based on the rules of this universe. What? You didn't? Well, don't worry, because it wasn't written with the intent of being a lie and I only just realized that it contradicted that which I'd already set out, even though no contradictory information was actually _published_ until Chapter 11.

Sakuya: I don't think anyone _did_ pick up on it. I guess you're better at subtlety than you thought.

Disclaimer: These characters still aren't mine and won't be no matter how long I keep writing this.

Chapter 12

_My name is Shinki. I'm the ruler and creator of the demon realm of Makai. A number of years ago, one of my servants found a human girl wandering around in Makai, with no memory of how she got there or who her parents were. I felt as though I should take care of this girl, so I did. I raised her as if she were my own daughter. As it turned out, this girl had an inherent talent for magic, and managed to unlock the secrets of a powerful grimoire that even I had found to be out of reach, and with this power, she became a youkai and quickly grew to adulthood._

_However, while she was still human, she suffered some defeats at the hands of a pair of human girls from the mystical land of Gensokyo, and these defeats ate at her. She wanted to try to find these girls and defeat them, to prove that she was the strongest. Seeing that she no longer needed my protection, I couldn't tell her no, and so I had to let my adopted daughter go off on her own. She did eventually find those girls, and while she lost the battle again, what she found instead was much greater. Tomorrow is the day that every mother dreams of._

_My little Alice is getting married._

"I don't think there's anyone here," Sara said. She'd knocked on the door to the house that Alice shared with her fiancee (or should that be "fiance"?), and we'd waited, but no answer.

"In all fairness, Sara-kun, we _did_ show up kind of early. They could still be sleeping," my maid, Yumeko, told the irritable gatekeeper.

"No, Sara-chan is right. There's nobody here, although I definitely sense traces of Alice's magic. It's a shame she never figured out how to create an independent doll, or else we could just ask them where she is."

"I…I think she's probably still at the Hakurei-Moriya Shrine," a quiet voice said. Was I wrong, and Alice _had_ managed to create an independent doll? "You're…Shinki-sama, aren't you? Alice-sama talks about you quite a bit."

"Alice-_sama_? Then you're not…"

"One of her creations? No. I attained sentience all my own—I'm a tsukumogami. I've been helping Alice-sama with her studies in exchange for a home." Tsukumogami were born when items went abandoned for long periods of time, so it made sense that they'd be lonely and in need of a caring home. The doll-girl bowed. "My name is Medicine Melancholy."

"Pleased to meet you, Medicine-chan," I said, extending my hand to shake hers, "and thank you."

She recoiled, however. "Please, don't touch me," she said, "it's not safe."

"Not safe?" Sara asked.

"Not with your bare hands, no. My original body was left abandoned in a field of poisonous flowers, so as a youkai, my body is poisonous to the touch."

I felt sorry for this poor girl, and could easily understand why Alice had taken her in. "Well, thank you again. Can you give us directions towards this shrine, Medicine-chan?"

Medicine smiled. "Sure."

* * *

"_This_ is the Hakurei Shrine?" Sara was unimpressed by the small building. "I would have thought that miko would have a huge shrine with how powerful she is."

"Be nice," I urged. Hmm…only common courtesy to put something in the donations box…

Reimu came running out. "Thank you for your kind donation!" she said, not even bothering to look up. We all sweatdropped—I hadn't even put very much in.

"You…really _are_ hurting for donations, aren't you, Reimu-san? I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, even seeing how small this place is, but that's not exactly an inspirational reaction."

She looked up. "Shinki-sama? I thought you weren't supposed to show up until later…I'll see how Alice-chan is doing." She headed back into the shrine.

"How Alice-chan _is doing_?" Yumeko keyed on the shrine maiden's phrasing, "Now I'm worried."

"Me too. Hopefully it's just Alice being Alice…she _can_ be a bit intense sometimes."

"Mom!" A voice I had not heard nearly often enough recently. "It's great to see you!" Now came the big hug.

"Oh, Alice, I've missed you so much. Have you grown even more since you left, or am I just still not used to seeing you all grown up?"

"I don't know if I've grown physically, but I definitely _feel_ more grown up than I was when I left Makai. Why are you here at the shrine, anyway? I thought I told you to meet us at my place."

"You weren't there. I couldn't wait to see you…and even if I could, Sara-chan's still as impatient as ever."

Alice laughed. "So things aren't all that different back home?" She paused. "Heh…it's not really 'home' for me any more, is it?"

"It will always be home if you want it to be. If you want to take your bride and move back to Makai, you're welcome to."

"No, we could never leave all of our wonderful friends here. How'd you know to come here, anyway? Or where the Shrine _was_, for that matter?"

"One of your 'wonderful friends' told us. Sweet girl; I felt so bad for her when she explained why she couldn't have any contact with anyone."

"Medicine-chan will be really happy to hear that. I'm so glad that she made a positive first impression; she's not usually very trusting of people and tends to be a bit antisocial."

"So, you _have_ made a lot of friends here in Gensokyo? I was surprised when you declared that you wanted Sara-chan as your maid of honor; I was worried that you were still keeping to yourself."

"Well, most of my friends were Marisa's friends first…it's kind of awkward. Although I think I may have a new friend…it's kind of a tough situation. She is, after all, at least part of the reason I'm such a mess today…though that's mostly my own fault."

"In other words, she beat some sense back into you? Sounds like a good friend to me."

Alice laughed again. "More like knocked me out before I made any more of an ass out of myself than I already had."

"What's this about knocking you out?" A green-haired shrine maiden that I didn't recognize appeared along with Reimu and Marisa.

"Hey Sanae-chan. Just wondering if we're still going to be friends after that fight we had last night."

"Of course, Alice-chan. I had just been telling Reimu that I think the four of us are going to be great friends after we're all…" An elbow from Reimu silenced her. Alice looked at them quizzically, wondering how that sentence was supposed to end.

Marisa's eyes lit up however. "So…I was right, then?"

Reimu was beaming as she nodded. "Your optimism was well-placed."

"Wait, you're leaving me out of the loop, Marichu?"

"…Can I tell her?" Marisa asked.

"…Yes, but not here, not now."

Reimu's eyes were trained on a small horned girl—an oni, perhaps? "Hey! If anything's going on around this shrine, I'm going to find out eventually!" she said.

"Yes, Suika-chan, and you will soon enough, but it's a secret right now and you're not very good at keeping secrets."

"Aw…I'll be good, I promise!"

"You say that now, but alcohol has a tendency to loosen your lips."

"Like she's ever sober?" the other miko, Sanae, asked.

"My point exactly. Anyway, it's time for proper introdctions. Shinki-sama, this is Suika Ibuki, our local freeloader, and this is my girlfriend, Sanae Kotiya, priestess of the Moriya Shrine. Sanae-chan, Suika-chan, this is Lady Shinki, ruler of Makai. She's Alice-chan's mother."

Sanae bowed. "You never told me you were descended from a goddess, Alice-san!"

"I'm not. I don't know who my real parents are; Percy-san found me wandering around Makai all alone and brought me back to Pandemonium, where my mother decided to adopt me. Mom, why isn't he here with the three of you?"

I looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, sweetie…Percy-san passed away last year."

"…He lived a long life. You said he helped raise you when _you_ were a child, right?" I nodded.

"A goddess that was once a child? I didn't think…"

"You never think," another child said, "you just do. Really, Sanae, you of all people should know about young goddesses…and, for that matter, mortals descended from goddesses."

"Ah, Suwako-sama…and Kanako-sama too. How long have you two been here?"

"Long enough to see you make a fool of yourself at least twice over," a blue-haired woman replied. "Pleasure to meet you, Shinki-san. I'm Kanako Yasaka, the wind goddess of the Moriya Shrine, and this is the earth goddess Suwako Moriya." The girl I had previously mistaken for a child curtsied. "I pretty much raised Sanae-chan, and Suwa-chan is her ancestor."

Sanae had turned bright red. "Maybe I should just head back inside."

"I'll come with you," Reimu said, "I'm sure Alice-chan wants some time to catch up with her old friends. Actually, didn't you say that you were going to be meeting them back at your place? Why don't you two just head home now and we'll get this place cleaned up. Um, no offense—I don't want you to feel like I'm kicking you out, it's just—"

"No need to apologize," I said, "I understand. And yes, some time with just Marisa-chan and Alice would be great. It was nice to see you again, Reimu-chan."

"Likewise, Shinki-sama."

* * *

"So now that we're out of range of Suika-chan…and it doesn't look like that prying tengu is anywhere to be found, what is it that Reimu-chan and Sanae-chan want to be kept secret?" Alice asked.

"Well, she was originally going to wait until after we'd returned from our honeymoon to do it, but last night, Reimu-san asked Sanae-san to marry her. Sanae-san was too tired out from battling you, however, and passed out before she could give Reimu-san an answer. Reimu-san told me when I showed up to try to sort everything out."

"Ah…I see," Yumeko said. "That explains why you're using honorifics now."

"Hardly. They were still addressing each other without honorifics long after they broke up and we started dating," Alice replied, "This is only a recent development. Medicine-chan, we're back!"

The doll-girl cried out, "Uuu…who is this woman? She won't stop harassing me, and she isn't affected by my poison!"

A Master Spark quickly subdued the offending party. "Well, that's certainly some way to greet your old master after all these years," she said indignantly.

"You get what you deserve, Mima-sama," Marisa shot back.

"Ah, just like old times," I said.

"Indeed," came another voice I hadn't heard in a number of years. "Forgive me for intruding; I would have headed back to Hakugyokurou, but it's awfully hard to get over there without help."

"You make a good point," Marisa conceded. "Have you been here long? Because I can't imagine you and Mima-sama being in the same place for long without trying to tear each other apart."

"I just got here right after you did," Yuuka replied. "Good to see you again, Shinki-san." Certainly more polite than she had been the last time I'd seen her, but still lacking the finer points of social graces. Nevertheless, it seemed like things were far less stagnant in Gensokyo than they were in Makai.

"Oh, yes, Shinki-sama, there was something I'd been meaning to ask you. About a year ago, I actually managed to go to Makai briefly, and we unsealed a youkai priestess named Byakuren Hijiri. While we were battling her, I noticed that some of her spell patterns were similar to yours. Do you know her, or was this just a coincidence?"

"I'm the ruler of the dimension. I _know_ everyone who comes through my realm. But no, I never actually had any contact with her. It was probably just a coincidence."

"Wait, you went to _Makai_ on that last incident? And you didn't bring me?"

"We didn't start out heading to Makai! It just sort of happened near the end! If I had known, I would have taken you along…"

"…Whatever. It's not like I'll never have a chance to go back; Mom already said that we're welcome to move there if we want, although I can't imagine that we'd leave Gensokyo…still, it might be nice for us to vacation there every so often."

"Mmm…that sounds wonderful, Arinya." Marisa nuzzled up against Alice's neck.

Meanwhile, just as Marisa had predicted, Yuuka and Mima were fighting. I didn't bother to step in because at least by fighting Yuuka, Mima was leaving poor Medicine alone. Taking care of those less fortunate than herself…I feel like I definitely raised Alice well. I wonder if she'd consider formally adopting Medicine—I'd absolutely love to have a grandchild, especially one as cute as that, and while I don't disapprove of same-sex relationships they do make reproduction a bit challenging. Then again, magicians as powerful as my daughter and soon-to-be daughter-in-law could probably find a way to conceive an actual child… Maybe I'll just adopt Medicine myself.

* * *

CCX: When one is mistreated as a child, there are two basic paths that the child's social development can commonly take. The first is that they will grow up to be abusive and hateful as well, treating others as they were treated; the other is that they will become reclusive and will recoil away from forming meaningful connections with others. Medicine was abandoned, similar to a neglected child, and canonically, she took the first path; I chose to instead write her along the second path, and took great joy in making her as cute and moe as possible. (See, I _knew_ that I'd be able to put what I've learned in this psych class I'm taking to use in my writing eventually!)


	14. Chapter 13

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

CCX: So I guess there are still some things I need to talk about…this note probably doesn't get taken down for the deviantart version. Obviously, there's the fact that I named another OC only to immediately reveal him to have been dead for the past year. I kind of realized that I needed another character to be the one who had found Alice, but I'd already made the decision to only bring those three from Makai (it wasn't until after I'd already started writing Chapter 12 that I remembered that part of _Highly Responsive to Prayers_ was also set in Makai, which might have meant more canon characters would have shown up), so I had to explain why the one who first found Alice wasn't with them. Also, a warning: I stated back in Chapter 1 that I don't normally indulge in long descriptions of clothing, and I backed that up in Chapter 8 with the way I handled putting Utsuho in a non-canon outfit. Well, this being a big fancy event, there are going to be a _lot_ of beautiful, fancy, and non-canon outfits that will need description. There will be other issues to be discussed, but they'll be handled at the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer: Yeah, we still need one of these. All characters and locations property of ZUN.

Chapter 13

_My name is Wriggle Nightbug, the only member of Team 9 (besides Dai-neesan, of course, without whom we would've been lost long ago) with any sense. Mystia in her infinite impulsiveness managed to volunteer the five of us to work this wedding, and while the opportunity to attend is kind of nice, the fact that we'll be working kind of detracts from the experience. Also, as hired help, we're going to be wearing suits, and I just know I'm going to be mistaken for a boy at least once. Ah, well, at least she won't be the _only_ one who gets to have her girlfriend there…though I didn't think my relationship with Yama-chan was exactly common knowledge, so I was kind of surprised when Marisa told me it was okay for me to bring her…_

"Why are we here again?" Rumia asked.

"Officially, it's because this is a big event and we'll be able to get a lot of publicity for our company," I told her, looking around to make sure Cirno wasn't within earshot before continuing, "In reality? It's because Mystia found out that her girlfriend is in the band that was hired to do the music."

"Ah, I see," she said, though the fact that she didn't have the necessary secondary powers for her darkness-producing ability meant she rarely _saw_ much of anything at all.

Inside the shrine, the ceremony was taking place, while outside, the party was being set up. The Hakurei-Moriya Shrine…site of so many "parties" before, though none as big or as momentous as this one. Seeing as how I had never actually been _involved_ in an incident (though I once had the misfortune to be in Reimu and Marisa's way when they were investigating one), this was my first time visiting it.

"This is _boring!_" Lyrica Prismriver whined. "Why do we have to set up the performance area ourselves?"

"Quit complaining, Lyrica-chan. The harder we work, the quicker it will get done," her older sister Lunasa scolded.

"And then Mysti-chan and I can have some alone time before the party starts?"

"Only if your idea of 'alone time' involves helping me set up everything _other_ than your performance area," Mystia replied. "We're very busy, too."

"I thought you only volunteered your team for this job to be with me!"

"Just because I took this job to spend time with you doesn't mean I can take it easy, Lyrica-chan. You're so irresponsible; aren't you supposed to be _older_ than me?"

"Wait, I thought you said we were doing this because it would be good for business! I trusted you because you have the most experience with running a business and stuff, but I'm still our leader and I don't like being lied to!" Cirno finally learned Mystia's true motivations.

"It _is_ a good business opportunity—a _great_ one, actually. If we do this well, we'll make a great name for ourselves, and we'll be hired to cater parties all around Gensokyo! Yes, it's also true that I pushed so hard to get this job because I knew Lyrica-chan would be here, but I'm not going to let that get in our way."

"…And those 'other parties all around Gensokyo'?"

"Are you suggesting that my entire reason for suggesting this business venture to you was to find a way to get Team 9 in the same place as the Prismrivers on a regular basis?"

"Yeah, actually, I was."

"Well, one, I was still single when I made that suggestion, and two, Lyrica-chan and her sisters aren't performers-for-hire—they're doing this as a favor to friends."

"Wait, we're not getting paid for this gig?" Lyrica seemed confused by this.

"No, we are," Merlin said, "but we don't sell our services to just anyone. It's part of the advantage—or disadvantage—of being undead."

"Oh good, I was afraid I was being misled."

"Why does Chen get to go to the ceremony and the rest of us don't?" Rumia asked.

"Because Yukari-sama," Daiyousei replied, which was all the explanation that anything involving Yukari ever really needed.

"Oh yeah…how does Chen ever get _any_ time for us?"

"Well, Yukari-sama sleeps a lot, and Chen is Ran-sama's shikigami, not Yukari-sama's directly, so it's rare that Chen is really _needed_ in Yukari-sama's domain. Of course, there's still Ran-sama's whims to consider…"

Just then, a familiar cat came running out of the shrine, before transforming into Chen. I never did understand how those transforming youkai managed to incorporate their clothing into their transformations so seamlessly, although I imagined it would be easier with a form-fitting dress like the one Chen was currently wearing than with loose-fitting clothing—I don't think I'd ever be able to pull it off. As it turned out, that was _why_ she'd gone into her cat form—she tripped over the bottom of the dress almost as soon as she'd gone humanoid. "You're lucky no one else saw that. I take it the ceremony's finished? Your uniform's in the cart." "Cart" might not have been the most accurate way to describe the vehicle we were using, as it was considerably larger than any cart, but on the other hand we weren't using kappa technology so most of the words that would normally describe a wheeled transport of considerable size would be similarly misleading.

She quickly pulled the dress back up and wisely opted to fly the rest of the way. "Heh heh, yeah…I can just imagine the nosebleed Ran-chama would have if she saw that…"

"At least it would blend in," I joked, "Red really is your color."

"You think?"

"Yeah. Now get changed; you're obviously not going to be much help all dressed up."

Sure enough, it wasn't much longer before the other guests started filing out. The wedding party was actually quite small, because most of Alice's friends were Marisa's friends first and foremost, whereas most of Marisa's friends weren't terribly keen on the idea of crossdressing in order to properly play the role of the groom's side of the wedding party (and of course, there was only one actual male). I heard that Marisa convinced Reimu to be one of her groomswomen by pointing out that since it was being held at her shrine, she'd be able to duck away and change into something more gender-appropriate before the reception; sure enough, Youmu was the only female who came out wearing one of the groomsmen's suits. This brought out another good reason why Reimu needed to change—being that the other two were Rinnosuke and Youmu, the color scheme that made the most sense was to go with cool, dark colors (forest green in this case)—the exact opposite of Reimu's normal color scheme. Personally, I thought Youmu pulled off the look magnificently (and did a good job of managing to still look _feminine_—I made a note to ask for some tips later, since getting mistaken for a boy seems to be my lot in life—even though I've started to wear skirts on a more day-to-day basis, circumstances such as these seem to keep conspiring to put me in men's clothing), but naturally Yuyuko seemed _very_ unsatisfied. Sometimes it's hard to tell if she sees Youmu as a lover, a surrogate daughter, or both. Speaking of which… "It looks like you managed to get everything set up without Chenchen's help. I'm sorry I couldn't convince Yukari-sama to let her stay with you for the ceremony," Ran said.

"Yeah, we're pretty good," Cirno said.

"The best!" Mystia declared.

"Chen should be almost done changing," I added.

"Yeah…she really did look beautiful, didn't she?"

"She did," I agreed, "but she needs to work a bit more on her coordination before you dress her up in a long sleeveless gown like that again."

"…why did you point out the sleeveless part?" Ran asked, trying not to get flushed at the thought of what might have happened.

I grinned mischievously. "Oh, no reason. You look quite nice as well, Ran-sama". Her dress was the same color as her tails—and was slit up the back rather than the side so that said tails didn't make a big lump under the dress. While it _was_ a matter of practicality for her, it still took a lot of guts to wear such a dress in my opinion. On the subject of Yukari…she always has to be the center of attention. Her dress was easily as frilly and ornate as any wedding dress, only it was done in her usual violet. Damnit Yukari, don't you know you're not supposed to upstage the bride on her wedding day? Wait…where _is_ the bride? Or the "groom", for that matter?

"Oh, no, I took too long, didn't I?" Chen asked, now wearing the same outfit as the rest of us.

"You're fine; the bride and groom are still inside," Daiyousei told her.

"Why is that, anyway?" I asked.

"Spectacle," she replied. "Oh, look, Reimu-san's here now. That should be everyone else; won't be much longer." Reimu…wait, what? Why? _How?_ Reimu had actually decided to embrace her culture for once and was clad in a stunning red _hōmongi_ which, judging by the fact that no one else had left the building recently, she most likely had managed to put on unassisted. Perhaps the rumors about her aren't true after all.

…No, wait, there's a more logical, if no less improbable, answer—Suika's abilities to be in two places at once. I see Suika, and not only is she _also_ in a kimono (sky blue with a floral pattern), she actually appears to be _sober_—and clearly unhappy about it. Most likely it isn't by choice—her alcohol was most likely confiscated. She'll be the first one at the bar, of course. But yes, this makes sense—although with how much she drinks, I would think sobering her up would _decrease_ her effectiveness. Regardless, the reception was about to begin…yes, the Prismrivers are playing, and here's the lovely couple now.

…Whoa.

…Aaaaah…

…I stand corrected. Not even Yukari's queenly gown can upstage _that._ Words cannot describe this dress.

She…must be using magic to keep herself fresh. There is no way that she could have gotten a good night's sleep—it's barely noon, and the dress, the hair styling, the _everything_, must have taken 12 hours to complete. "Quit staring; this is where our work really starts," Mystia said. I voiced the previous thought to her. "You really think it would take that long for _her_? Or have you forgotten that she's the Seven-Colored Puppeteer?"

"The Seven…oh. Yeah, right. Manipulating her dolls to help her _would_ make that go a lot faster."

"And here I thought you were supposed to be the 'smart one'."

"Shut up. Hey, Rumia, it looks like you're needed over at Table 3."

"Why me?"

"Because that's the one for all of the creatures of darkness." The residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion (A/N: actually, Remilia, Flandre, Sakuya, and Patchouli are the only ones here) had been given a table with a canopy over it—though since they alone didn't comprise an entire table, they were sharing it with Yukari, Ran, Yuyuko, and Youmu. Alice's guests were seated with the happy couple at Table 1, as were Mima and Rinnosuke, while the usual residents of the Hakurei-Moriya shrine were seated at Table 2 along with Aya, Nitori, and Yuuka (whom no one was quite sure where to put, not to mention that seating her at the same table as Mima would be a disastrous idea.) There were some other tables for the use of the various staff and, where applicable, _their_ guests. (Though I was the only one who actually had a "guest".) All in all, a small wedding.

* * *

Another A/N: Yes, Wriggle and Mystia are the _only_ characters that debuted in _Imperishable Night_ who are at this wedding, which is unfortunate since I like their cast. They really just aren't a good fit here, though. It's also kind of ironic because there have been more chapters narrated by characters originating in that game than any other game—even counting the prologue. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either when I realized that not one of the other members of the _Embodiment of Scarlet Devil_ cast has narrated a chapter yet.

* * *

"Well hey there, cutie. Looking good."

"Oh, Yama-chan, I'm so glad to see you! …You really think I look good?"

"Yes, sweetie, you look wonderful."

"It's not too boyish?"

"Not at all. Just because it's a style that men could wear doesn't make it men's clothing. It's subtle, but you're starting to take on a woman's shape, and a fitted suit like that shows it off nicely."

"You're one to talk about 'fitted', Yama-chan," I replied. Yamame's dress was just as form-fitting as the one Chen had been wearing earlier, though it was a goldenrod color as opposed to Chen's scarlet. Also in considerably less danger of falling off unintentionally due to Yamame's natural grace. _Intentionally_, on the other hand…well, if I ever got a break, maybe, but it was now quite a lovely summer's day and as such insects were naturally attracted to the large gathering (and the wine-guzzling Suika in particular), and of course it was my job to keep them from crashing the party because _I can do that._ So I had my work cut out for me.

"You like? I had to do some modifications because apparently even when she was my height that amazon was _stacked_." One of Yamame's friends in the Underground was an oni who was as tall and as busty as Suika was short (when not using her abilities) and flat-chested.

"I'm surprised you didn't make it from scratch." Most of Yamame's wardrobe were her own creations; she was quite the talented weaver.

"I've never made anything for an occasion like this," she replied.

"Don't be so modest. You've made plenty of high-quality dresses."

"Just because a dress is made from silk doesn't automatically make it formal," Yamame countered.

"Details, details."

"Hey, Wriggle-chan! You don't have time to be slacking!" Cirno yelled. Seriously, her and Mystia…

* * *

CCX: I'm not sure if I'm completely satisfied with this chapter, but I'm running out of stuff to do with Wriggle so I may continue the wedding reception in Chapter 14. Anyway, there are a number of other things to be addressed.

Q: Why is Team 9 running a catering company?

A: Why _not!_ Mystia is canonically familiar with the food service industry, and Cirno's potential for mundane utility involving keeping things cool has been well-documented. This all makes sense. By the way, in case it wasn't clear, I'd been trying to set up Team 9 as a Five Man Band. Cirno is, of course, the hero; Mystia is the lancer, Rumia is the big guy (ironic seeing as how she's a Stage 1 boss and three of the five are Stage 2, one of which comes back as an EX midboss and another of which got her own spinoff), Wriggle is the smart guy, and Chen is the chick.

Q: Where did Mystia/Lyrica come from?

A: Ah, now _that_ I'd been dropping hints about, mostly in Chapter 11. The fun thing about prose fiction is that because you can't see the action, just because someone isn't mentioned doesn't mean they aren't there. Youmu referred to there being a number of undead from _PCB_ (so Remilia and Flandre, who were also there and are also undead, weren't part of that comment), Marisa mentioned that many members of the party were working the wedding, and Reimu complained about the noise level after Suika had gotten the party going: though never directly mentioned, the implication is that the Prismriver Sisters were present throughout the chapter. Furthermore, when Daiyousei hinted that both Wriggle and Mystia were more mature than the average nineball, my author's note said that the tying-together of the canon was now complete, whereas four chapters earlier I had noted that "Fireflies" _and_ "Lyrical Dreams" had yet to be tied to any other stories. I also mentioned in chapter 10 that I was having some trouble writing Night 3 of Lyrical Dreams because I suck at songfics but couldn't figure out how to make it work any other way. All three chapters of Lyrical Dreams had been planned out when I first created it back in November 2009 (well, Chapters 1 and 2 were conceived at the same time with the idea for Chapter 3 coming shortly thereafter), and yes, this pairing is born in Night 3 of Lyrical Dreams. The fact that this chapter is being published ahead of the pairing's canonical debut creates a "Marth Debuted in Smash Bros." effect. (It's a good thing that the author's notes _aren't_ being cut for the deviantart version this time, because this one's going to be absolutely _filled_ with TVTropes links.

Q: Are you getting further and further away from canon personalities?

A: Sort of. I kind of noticed that Wriggle is acting less like a child and more like a teenager—full of attitude and snark. Then again, it's been a few years since her last canon appearance, so perhaps she is a bit older (though being that she's a youkai, she still pretty much has the body of an 11-year-old—note that Yamame said _starting to _take on a woman's shape; by age 11, puberty should have already started, so this comment is consistent with the body of the chapter.

That's all for now; ja ne!


	15. Chapter 14

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: None of these characters/locations/what have you are mine.

CCX: So I've got a few ideas for where to go when this story finally ends. Specifically, "The Adventures of Team 9 Catering", which would probably be episodic in nature rather than working on a continuous plotline. Anyway, splitting the wedding into two chapters puts me closer to my goal for the number of chapters, which I will not reveal at this time, without having to pad.

Sakuya: *angry* _What was that?_

CCX: I was talking about filler chapters, damnit! Anyway, here we shall have…another pairing that was not originally planned and in fact wasn't even planned as of the completion of the previous chapter, which much like having Team 9 run a catering business basically boils down to "why the hell _not?_" Also, _Imperishable Night_ only ends up holding sole possession of "most chapters narrated by characters debuting in this game" for the one chapter…and this would _not_ have been the game I would have expected to compete with it. Not that it matters because _EoSD_ will take the title in the end.

Chapter 14

_My name is Sara. I'm the official gatekeeper of Makai. I'll admit that I'm a bit concerned about leaving the gate in someone else's hands, but I wasn't about to miss Alice's wedding, especially not after she asked me to be her maid of honor. I was a little surprised when I learned that she was marrying another woman, but after meeting Marisa, I think she's perfect for Alice. Though I'm not so sure about some of her friends…_

"Mom, will you _please_ stop fawning over Medicine-chan?" Alice asked.

"I can't help it; she's so _cute_!" Shinki-sama replied. "I still think you should adopt her."

"Um, no offense, Shinki-sama, but I can take care of myself," Medicine said.

"It's true. She was functioning perfectly fine when she was all alone—physically, anyway. What she needs is a friend and mentor, not a mother."

"…You mean like a big sister-type?"

"…You aren't seriously thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?"

Shinki-sama looked sheepish. "I might be. Besides, it wouldn't mean anything from a practical standpoint, right? Since she'll be here in Gensokyo and I'll be back in Makai." She thought for a moment and added, "And since I'm the ruler of Makai, I don't really need to go through any channels to make an adoption, do I?"

"But how much legal standing would you have in Gensokyo?"

"Eh, I'll figure it out."

"…You miss having a child around the castle, don't you? I should have tried to visit more frequently…"

"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal."

I decided to see about meeting some of Alice's new friends—or rather, Marisa's friends, since it seemed as though Alice was still a bit shy, though it was probably emphasized by Marisa's outgoing personality.

…All female, pretty much. And here I thought _Makai_ was female-dominant. Gensokyo puts it to shame, it seems. I had met most of the guests at Table 2 the previous day—Yuuka had been at Marisa and Alice's house when we all got back, and most of the others had been at the Shrine. One who hadn't been was a girl who seemed a bit younger than most of the other guests. She seemed a bit uncomfortable being at a gathering of this size, which I could relate to since I've never been terribly sociable either. "Hello," I started, and…she suddenly disappeared. Huh?

"Nitori-chan…" Reimu started to reprimand her. "I'm sorry, Sara-san; she's a bit shy."

"That's fine. I noticed that she didn't seem terribly comfortable in this setting and thought I'd found a kindred soul. Sounds like she's more like Alice-chan than like me, though." Amazingly, this brought Nitori out of…whatever it was she had done to make herself disappear. She seemed…angry? "Did I say something wrong?"

"Nitori-san and Alice-chan are…not exactly close," Sanae said. "I don't know if Alice-chan was always like this, but she can be…a bit difficult to be friendly with at times. Of course, I'm of the same mind so I usually get along with her just fine."

"The way you describe it sounds quite different from the Alice-chan I know. While it's true that she never had many friends besides me…that was more because of how reserved she was. A bit serious, perhaps…but always very nice."

"That…does sound like the Alice-chan we know," Reimu said, "at least most of the time. However, as we recently discovered, she's a different person where Marisa-chan is involved. A bit jealous and insecure."

"Insecure is nothing new. It's pretty much the reason she left Makai."

No response, only slightly nervous looks. "No, really, do go on. I'm fascinated to hear what you all really think of me," Alice said.

"If you had been here for the whole conversation, you'd know that there were a lot of positive things mentioned too," I protested.

"I really don't care right now, Sara-chan," she replied, "Just stay at our table and don't cause any trouble."

"It sounds like you've caused more than enough of that yourself," I shot back.

She laughed. "You really never do change…it's good to see you again."

"…Likewise." Apparently this fabled "angry Alice" really _didn't_ come out in situations where Marisa wasn't involved. So, back at the bride's table…right at the focus of everything. The only saving grace was that _Alice_ was the one who would be drawing in all of the attention, and by being so close to her, I was essentially hidden in plain sight. Nothing to do but try to make small talk. "No offense, but you seem a bit…I don't know, out of place here?" Deep down, the first part of this was a lie—I had _no_ real interest in having a conversation with this guy.

Marisa's best man, I couldn't remember his name even though his status as such meant we had been paired up during the wedding procession, gave a bit of a laugh. "You mean being the only man here? Yes, well, with how 'active' a career Marisa-chan leads, she doesn't really meet many men, seeing as how we're mostly confined to more menial jobs. I've heard rumors that the gender hierarchy is reversed in the Old World, although I've also heard that while it used to be as pronounced as the one here, it's now very close to equality. I…would think that gender equality would be quite nice, not that I mind the current set-up. After all, someone has to do the jobs that we men traditionally do, right?"

"Makai is female-dominant too, though it seems as though Gensokyo is much more so. I…agree, it seems odd that one gender should take precedence over the other. I never really thought much of it because it seemed natural that a kingdom with a female ruler should favor femininity, but…" I shook it off. "So then, if Marisa-san's work only leads her into contact with other women, where do you fit into the picture?"

"Marisa-chan and I are childhood friends…sort of. Being half-human and half-youkai, my life span is a bit longer than hers, so I was already more or less an adult when she was just a little girl; I used to work for her father, so I've known her for most of her life."

"So that explains why Alice-chan's jealousy doesn't kick in with you. There wouldn't be much romantic spark between two people who have known each other since only _one_ was a child."

"Perhaps not, but wasn't Alice-san still a child when Marisa-chan first met her?"

I was stunned; he was absolutely right. "That…might be different. They didn't really get to know each other that well until Alice-chan had aged up, did they? Still…you have a good point." A pause. "So if you aren't in the same 'active' business as Marisa-san, what _do_ you do?"

"I'm a shopkeeper; I collect goods that have made their way into Gensokyo from the outside world, and I sell many of them, though there are some that I keep for myself." Another pause. "You mentioned Makai earlier. You knew Alice-san when she was younger?"

"Yeah, I suppose she and I have the same sort of relationship that you have with Marisa-san. I didn't know Alice-chan when she was a _little_ girl, though; none of us did. No one really knows where Alice-chan came from. She just showed up in Makai one day, with no memory of how she got there or where she came from, or anything else about her past. Shinki-sama decided to adopt her, and…she mostly kept to herself, studying magic in the Pandaemonium library and only talking to Shinki-sama and Percy-san, the butler. Being the gatekeeper of Makai, I was usually isolated from the rest of Shinki-sama's staff anyway, but as the youngest member of her staff, I was the most natural target when Alice-chan finally decided to seek out friends."

"Does it get lonely being isolated all of the time? I can't imagine that it would be very much fun working in an environment where solitude is almost expected. Although working a job where it _isn't_ expected and getting it anyway is probably even worse…"

"Let me guess: you're often at a loss for customers?" I teased. "I've never been fond of big crowds anyway, so working what's normally a quiet job aside from when I have to keep someone from entering or exiting Makai is pretty much ideal for me…but when you put it that way, I suppose it _is_ better to have a bit of companionship than none at all. It's certainly a lot more fun on days when I actually have work to do than when I just end up sitting around all day doing nothing."

"Yes, while silence can be quite lonely, quiet is definitely a good thing. I suppose I'm grateful to Alice-san for that; Marisa-chan is a very boisterous girl, and she used to show up at my store a lot more often before she started seeing Alice-san."

A _very_ awkward pause, followed by chairs shuffling all around us as couples got to their feet. "Ah…they're playing a slow song…" I tried not to blush, and I'm not sure how successful I was.

"Well, then…would you like to dance? Er…"

"Yes? What is it?"

"I…seem to have forgotten your name," he said sheepishly.

I giggled. "Are you sure we ever _got_ a proper introduction? I'm Sara."

He hesitated only slightly before the meaning of my words sunk in. "Rinnosuke."

"Well, Rinnosuke-san…I'd love to." Perhaps I was wrong. I didn't really think too highly of Rinnosuke at first—he seemed a bit too happy about being surrounded by women, and while I begrudged that Marisa was a perfect match for Alice, I didn't really think that anyone that close to her—as he would have had to have been to be her best man—could be terribly mature. But this conversation…and this dance, were quite enjoyable. Perhaps…perhaps if this substitute gatekeeper does a good job, I should consider taking a position that would allow me more freedom to move about, rather than being tied to one spot all the time. B-besides…it would be nice to visit my best friend Alice every once in awhile.

* * *

CCX: I'm not really sure how I did there. This was in part just this thing I thought up, maybe even a tad cliché having the best man and the maid of honor hook up (although I suspect that "hook up" probably isn't the right phrase for this particular situation), but it also was meant to allow me a bit more practice at writing tsunderes, since it's been awhile since I've focused on the main plot and this side-plot is pretty much over, and my characterization of Remilia in the earlier chapters is probably the only time I've ever done "tsundere" _well._ Ja ne!


	16. Chapter 15

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

CCX: Lately, I haven't normally been in the habit of pushing out multiple chapters so quickly, but the previous chapter hasn't been showing up and I feel like I need to give it a push. Damnit, this site's been so buggy lately…I don't want their latest screw-up to keep me from my goal, not when it's so close…

Disclaimer: Meh…I don't feel like writing one right now. You already know that I don't own this, right?

_My name is Patchouli Knowledge. I'm a youkai magician and the librarian of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Lately there's been an unsettling calm inside the mansion…or maybe I'm just not used to Marisa being gone for so long. No, that's not it; even before Marisa came into our lives, it was never this…eerie. No rampaging Flandre, no grumpy Remilia…not even Sakuya yelling at Meiling, although Marisa's absence likely is part of the reason for that. …It's kind of boring._

"Koaku-tan, could you get that?" I asked my assistant, as I heard a knock at the library door. It turned out to be Remilia. "Remilia…"

"It's been awhile since we last talked, just the two of us. It's been rather peaceful lately, hasn't it?"

"Indeed it has. Kind of unsettling, I think."

"Not really. Flandre's been a lot less irritable lately, and with that witch away on her honeymoon, there aren't any disruptions, and Sakuya hasn't had any reason to get angry at the gatekeeper."

"Normally this state of affairs would just make you _bored_. It's understandable that everyone else would have mellowed out, but why you?"

"What, so now I can't just enjoy a bit of peace and quiet?"

"You never enjoyed it before."

"I-I've changed. People can change, even vampires."

"You don't 'change', though. Not simply like this. Something about you is different. Perhaps…you're finding that it's a lot harder to be heartless than you thought."

"I never claimed to be heartless. Cruel, yes, but even I can be moved. I…maybe you're right. Seeing that wedding…how happy those two were…and how happy Flan is when she's with that birdbrain…maybe I've grown tired of keeping everyone away. Maybe…I do yearn to once again feel what I felt forty years ago."

"That…would be a change indeed. You swore you'd never let yourself be that vulnerable ever again."

"I don't intend to. I know where I went wrong, and I won't let that happen again."

"Also, Remilia? You never kept everyone away. You always had your sister close to you…and of course, you had me."

"You know what I meant. The two of you are different. I was referring to…a different part of my heart."

"I know. I wouldn't be right for you, anyway; we're too similar, neither one of us could stand the idea of submitting to another."

Remilia raised an eyebrow. "Really? With your health, I can't imagine you as the dominant sort."

"I may not be capable of physically dominating a person…but there are other methods of commanding subservience." I glanced over at my summoned help, who was blushing quite cutely. Yes, there were still a few ways remaining to deal with the torpor that had set in.

"Heh. Well, it's none of my business what you do in your spare time. Now, there's just the matter of what to do about it. It's not like the love of my life is just going to show up on our doorstep."

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"You're suggesting I should be more receptive to Sakuya's advances."

"She's already submissive to you—far more so than she physically needs to be. Hopelessly devoted, in fact. You've got the perfect lover."

"I don't want that. I'm actually happier now that she's got the guts to tell me off once in awhile. She's finally wising up to the fact that I'm not this ideal creature she makes me out to be."

"You're deluding yourself, Remilia, if you think you don't care about her."

"I _do_ care about her. That's exactly _why_ I don't want her as my lover."

"Oh, _there_ you are, my Lady," the maid in question said, entering the library without knocking. "Your tea is ready. Ah, Patchouli-san…shall I make you some tea, too?"

"…Just bring a pot and two cups. Koakuma will handle it, won't you?"

"Of course, Patchouli-sama," she replied obediently. Such a good girl…

* * *

Sakuya: Well, that was short.

CCX: Yeah. We're coming up on the end, and just trying to squeeze a couple more chapters out of this before the big finale. Of course, you know what a short chapter like this _really_ means, right?

Sakuya: …another _Phantasm_ chapter?

CCX: Another _Phantasm_ chapter. Ja ne!


	17. Chapter 16

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: _Touhou Project_ is property of ZUN.

Chapter 16

_My name is Flandre Scarlet. I've spent most of the last five centuries locked in the basement of my sister's mansion, but lately I've been allowed to go out more, probably because I haven't been accidentally destroying stuff too much anymore. I'm happy, because I get to meet lots of fun people. Everyone else seems to be happier, lately, too—except for Neechan. She's trying to pretend that she's happy, especially around me. I don't think she realizes that I know that she isn't._

"Lady Flandre, if I may…I still have concerns about this relationship of yours. I'm afraid you're going to get hurt."

"It won't happen again," I reassured our maid, Sakuya. "She didn't realize what sunlight does to me—and I _asked_ her to show me her powers, so it's my fault as much as hers. Of course, I wouldn't have asked if I'd known that they were sun-based…" There was a bit of a scary moment the last time I'd gone to visit Utsuho, but she and Satori got everything under control before things got too bad. It still really hurt, though, which was one of the reasons that Sakuya was supervising this visit—the other being that it wasn't quite nighttime yet and it's hard to hold a parasol in a position where you can block out the sun and still be able to see where you're going when it's that low in the sky.

"But that's just the thing. Her powers _are_ sun-based, and you're a vampire. It's not really a good match."

"…Match?" Okuu was a very good friend and I feel really happy when I'm with her, but I don't _think_ we're going to be like Marisa and Alice…are we?

"Never mind."

"Hey, Sakuya?" I decided to change the subject.

"Yes?"

"Are you and nee-chan having a fight?"

"…What do you mean?"

"She used to be happy. She isn't any more. She usually seemed happier when you were around, but…it's not like that now. I figure you two must be having a fight, because I don't know why else she wouldn't be happy with you. I think you're really nice."

"W-well, thank you, my lady. But…I don't really see what you mean by that."

"Neechan doesn't think I know. She's trying to act like she's happy, especially when she knows that I'm around. But I think she's just pretending."

"You are…more insightful than we give you credit for, Lady Flandre."

"Insightful?"

"It means that you pick up on the little nuances—details," she explained.

"It's because I spent so much time locked up in the basement, right? Everyone underexcavates my abilities to do things other than blowing stuff up."

"'Underestimates', my lady."

"…Right. That." Patchy tries to teach me lots of big words, and I like her lessons but sometimes I get kind of bored and start to fall asleep. I've been getting much better at _that_, too, though; everyone agrees that I've really been—what was the word?—maturing lately.

…Wait, wasn't that the same word Sakuya used when we accused her of padding her chest? I think Reimu used it too, when talking about Sanae. Reimu and Sanae are really close friends, maybe even closer than Marisa and Alice—though I see Marisa a lot more than Reimu so I'm not sure. Marisa visited me a lot before I became friends with Utsuho, and she played with me even though she was scared that I'd end up destroying her by mistake. …To be honest, I was kind of scared of that, too. I get excited and then I use too much power and I break things when I don't want to. Although most things break really easily, so I have to be really careful.

Uh…wait, what was I thinking about again? Oh, right, I was thinking about how I wasn't sure because Marisa visited me all the time and I only saw Reimu when Neechan let me come with her to visit the shrine, but I think Reimu and Sanae might be even closer than Marisa and Alice. Sanae wasn't living there, but it seemed like she was always there when we went—and now she _is_ living there. I wonder if they'll get "married" like Marisa and Alice did. I asked Neechan what that meant after the wedding, but she didn't really give me a very good answer, and then I asked Sakuya and she didn't give me any answer at all, and when I asked Patchy but she said she didn't have the right to teach me about that and said that it was Remi's decision as to whether or not I was ready to learn about that type of thing and then I told her what Neechan had told me and Patchy just kind of laughed. So I guess it's not something I'm supposed to know about yet even though I'm over 500 years old. (A/N: I'm not _exactly_ sure how much time has passed, but we determined earlier that it's been more than two years since _Mountain of Faith_ so I'm pretty sure it's been over 5 years since _Embodiment of Scarlet Devil_.)

It suddenly got darker, and I looked up to find that we'd already reached the entrance to the Underground. I guess I kind of got lost in thought and didn't realize how far we'd gone. Sakuya closed the parasol. "So then you agree that Remi-neechan isn't as happy as she used to be?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't realize we were still talking about that."

"Sorry, I kind of started thinking about other things and forgot about it. You should have said something!" Sakuya didn't seem too happy that I'd brought it back up, though, so I don't think it's very likely that she would have continued the conversation on her own.

"Ah…that's okay, my lady."

"So do you know why she's unhappy?"

"…I doubt it's any one thing. She's trying to be happy about you growing up so much, but I think she's kind of sad that you don't need her as much as you used to."

"Well that's silly. Even if I'm better at being on my own, she's still my big sister and I'll always need her."

"Yeah, of course you will. And…things have changed a bit between Lady Remilia and me."

"How so?" I asked.

"It's…complicated."

"Which means it's something that you guys don't want me knowing."

"If you understand that, why continue to ask?"

"I wonder what would happen if I asked her directly. She has trouble saying no to me when I ask her for something, but she's been trying to hide her sadness from me so she's probably not going to like it if I ask her about it."

"Hmm…a very interesting question indeed." I'd have to try to remember to do so. Right now, however, was time to have fun with Utsuho.

* * *

CCX: I'm completely at a loss for details as to what happens right here, but it would be out of characterization for Flandre to leave this part out.

Sakuya: Since when have you cared about staying in-character?

CCX: Character_ization._ Although Flandre being kind of childish is pretty much in line with fanon, so I'm not really departing too much here. I kind of get an ADHD vibe from this version of Flan, which probably means I'm just writing what I know. ;P …Eh…maybe I'll just go back later if I get any ideas, do a stealth edit.

* * *

Although I completely forgot to ask my big sister about her sadness that day, a couple of days later I remembered that I was going to do that and so I did. "What are you talking about?" she replied defensively.

"I know you don't want to be sad around me, but I'm not a little girl anymore! I know…I know that _something's_ going on, but nobody wants to tell me what, and I know it has something to do with you and Sakuya…"

"That's…that's really none of your business. Yours or anyone else's, so don't think I'm not telling you because I think of you as being too immature to handle it. It's just…it's some personal stuff that I have to work out, and it's private."

"B-but we share _everything_, don't we? O-nee-_chaaan?_" I gave my best cute stare.

"Stop doing that. You're supposed to be a noble vampire; using _cuteness_ to try to get your way is beneath you."

"I thought vampires charmed their victims all the time," I replied. Remi-neechan didn't really answer and kind of looked defeated, so I figured she felt I had made a good point. "Or if you'd prefer me to use a show of vampiric power…"

"…No, none of that will be necessary." She sighed, defeated. "Sakuya has developed…a somewhat different sort of feeling for me, in addition to that of a mere servant."

"I…think I follow." That "special friend" thing again. "But you don't feel the same way, and it's causing problems?"

"That's definitely how it started…but now I'm not so sure."

"Well, if you _do_ feel the same way, there shouldn't be any problems, right?"

She laughed. "Maybe you're right, but…I still don't feel like it's right. It's…I just don't know. What I feel, what I _should_ feel…" She trailed off. I got the feeling that it would just hurt for her to have to answer any more questions, so I quietly left.

* * *

CCX: I addressed most of what I had to address at the first note, so all that's left to say here is that while _we_ know that yes, Reimu and Sanae _will_ get married, they haven't made the announcement yet at this point. They're waiting for Marisa and Alice to return from their honeymoon, remember? Oh, and I guess the first couple of chapters of _TAoT9C_ are probably taking place around this time, too. Ja ne!


	18. Chapter 17

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Do we really need to keep doing this every time?

_You're asking my name? Have you been living under a rock? This is only the fifth straight time I've won the World Martial Arts Tournament. I'm the great and powerful warrior…_

"MEILING!"

"…Gwa?"

* * *

Shanghai Alice of Chapter 17

_My name is *yawn* Hong Meiling. I'm the gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, not that it really needs one because everyone living there is an incredibly powerful magician. Me…I'm an incredibly powerful _fighter_, which unfortunately doesn't mean a thing in Gensokyo, where all battles are conducted under the spell card rules. In other words…I'm an anachronism, a remnant of a bygone time before the spell card rules existed, and my very livelihood depends on nobody else realizing this._

"MEILING GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

I sighed. "Right away, Sakuya-san." Had somebody actually dared to intrude on the mansion? Usually the only one who ever did that was Marisa, and she was away on her honeymoon.

…Or so I thought. "Waaah! You're…"

"Just got back!" the witch grinned. "Thought I'd make a surprise visit to Patchy-san, but it seems I'm not wanted here." She left, most likely having already stolen something. Apparently that wasn't the point, though.

"Meiling, you need to stop falling asleep at your post. You're a liability."

"I…" I wasn't sure how to respond. I wanted to point out that she and Remilia and even Patchouli were more than capable of defending the mansion, but that would only draw attention to the fact that my job was a sinecure. Well, the job _itself_ wasn't, but it might as well have been because it really wasn't very necessary. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I fall asleep so much…" No sooner did I say the words did I realize that they weren't strictly true. The specifics of my job created a strange paradox. The mistresses of this house were creatures of the night, so the mansion was most likely to be empty—and therefore in need of a guard such as myself—during the night. However, most of the common intruders were human, and thus by default active during the daytime, when the mansion was full. If my job is to guard the mistresses, then I would need to be awake during the day when they are home and quite often asleep; if it is merely to guard the property when they are away, I need to be awake at night. "Er, Sakuya-san…what exactly _is_ my primary duty? Is it to guard the ladies of this house while they slumber, or is it to keep anyone from entering when they are not around?"

"Erm…well, both, I suppose."

"That doesn't work. If I am to guard them while they are resting at home, I would need to be awake during the day, but if I am to keep away intruders when they are active, I would need to be awake at night."

"…Just stop falling asleep at your post."

"Aren't you being a bit harsh on her, Sakuya?"

"L-Lady Remilia…shouldn't you be sleeping right now?"

"How can I, when you're yelling so much? And you're being so harsh on the poor girl." She turned to me. "We overwork you, don't we? I'm sorry. I'll try to find you some help, so that you have a chance to rest."

"Uh…thank you, Remilia-sama," I said, noting that she didn't call me by name and wondering if she even knew what my name was. She probably at least knew the "Meiling" part simply from Sakuya always yelling at me.

"That was…very generous of you, my lady," Sakuya said. "You've gone soft ever since Lady Flandre became less dependent on you."

"I have not!" Remilia automatically disagreed, before continuing, "No, maybe you're right. Maybe I _have_ gone soft…though I don't think Flandre is the reason."

"I…beg your pardon, my lady?"

"I think it happened a bit earlier. Around the time you first told me about your special feelings for me." Wait, _what?_ When did that happen? I'm so out of the loop…

"…"

"A while back, you suggested that since I couldn't accept your feelings, it would be best if you just left, and I disagreed and said that I wanted you to stay. I've reconsidered. Sakuya…I think it's best if you left."

* * *

CCX: Yeah, remember how the listed genres are romance and _drama_? That's not a mistake, even if humor comes more naturally to me. This chapter ended up being shorter than I expected, but it got right to the point. …Until next time.


	19. Final Chapter

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

CCX: It's a shame I wasn't able to work out the trouble with Lyrical Dreams 3…it would have been nice to have the practice.

Yeah, that's right…way back in the prologue, I mentioned that the original plan for this story was a songfic with two narrators. However, one of the main reasons I scrapped that idea was that I have a rule when writing songfics: _Never use the same song twice._ Therefore, if I find a song that works well for a songfic, I want to be absolutely sure I don't "waste" the song—the creation of "If You're Not the One" a few years back was a big step for me. Suffice it to say that this is now sufficiently epic to be worthy of the silver bullet, the one that I've been saving for the perfect fic…

…at least, that's what _would_ be happening. Actually, the idea to bring the songfic back into play only came once deviantart entered the picture. By simulcasting the fic in two places, I can do some pretty awesome things like, say, writing two separate endings. Think of it like the Final Stage of _Imperishable Night_. And since I haven't _technically_ used up that bullet here, I'm still free to use it again if another opportunity arises. So instead, you get a familiar group. Take it away!

Disclaimer: All characters except for Kuroi belong to ZUN. (If you don't know who she is, go read up through Chapter 8 of _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering.)_ Lyrics belong to Kings of Leon.

Final Chapter

_I've been roaming around  
Always looking down at all I see_

_My name is Sakuya Izayoi, formerly the head maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Now I'm just…nothing._

_Painted faces fill the places I can't reach_

"Okay, Suika-chan, remember how we had that secret? Well, it's time for you to learn what it is."

"Then…you don't want it to be a secret any more, right?" she replied.

Reimu nodded. "Yes, that's right."

"Okay then…"

Sanae took a deep breath. "Reimu-chan and I are going to get married, just like Marisa-chan and Alice-chan did."

"Really? That's great! I'll get together a huge party!"

_You know that I could use somebody  
You know that I could use somebody_

Suddenly, darkness started to approach unnaturally quickly. "Damnit, Remilia, did you block out the sun again?" Reimu cried.

"No…this isn't her doing. It can't be…" I said.

"Sakuya-san… What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Remi-san?"

I shook my head. "Right now…I guess what I'm doing is congratulating you two on your engagement, Reimu-san."

"So do you know why it got so dark all of a sudden?"

"No…"

"Well, then, it must be an incident!"

"I think you enjoy this a bit too much, Reimu-chan," Sanae said.

"Well, I'll have you to keep me in line, Nae-nae. And Sakuya-san, if she wants to join us. Oh, and Sanae…we're making it official now. You don't have to use an honorific if you don't want to."

"Yes…Reimu."

They looked so happy together…I didn't want to intrude on their happy moment, but solving an incident would be the perfect thing to get my mind off of Remilia. "If you don't think I'd be a third wheel…then sure, I'll come."

"Can I come too?" Suika asked.

"Can you behave yourself?" Reimu replied.

"…I'll start setting up a celebration here at the shrine for your successful resolution of this incident," she replied.

"Good girl."

* * *

_Someone like you  
And all you know  
And how you speak_

"Somehow, I don't think…we're going to be able to resolve this so easily."

"Oh?"

"Sakuya-san, I don't suppose _you_ have any ways of seeing through this darkness."

"No, Reimu-san. I don't think even La—Remilia-sama could see in darkness this absolute. Although she'd probably have other ways of navigating it…"

"Yeah, she could just turn into a bat, right?" Reimu asked. "What…what happened? Between you two…no, never mind. Forget it; it's not something you want to talk about, is it?"

"I'm glad you understand, Reimu-san."

_You know that I could use somebody  
You know that I could use somebody_

Suddenly, a figure surrounded in light appeared before us. "Oh, good, we're in the right place…hmm? Sakuya-san, I wasn't told that you'd be here too."

"Ran-san…what's with the light show?" Reimu asked.

"Yukari-sama sent us to help you…as usual, she isn't going to do anything herself, but she did imbue me with some extra power to allow me to light the way as well."

"Did Yukari-sama tell you what's causing this?" I asked.

"No; if she knows, she's not saying."

"I think _I_ know…or at least, I have an idea," Chen added.

"…Really?"

"Well, I don't think any of the others noticed, but it looks like Rumia-chan's hair ribbon is actually a seal, and either she can't even touch it or she doesn't want to. I don't know what's sealed in there, but it's probably something really bad!"

"Huh," Reimu said, "I never would have guessed that, but this darkness _does_ seem like a far stronger version of her ability. That's very observant of you, Chen."

_Someone like you_

"Forgive me if I'm being intrusive, but…why are you alongside these two on this incident, Sakuya-san?" Ran asked. "This doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would interest Remilia-san."

"She…we're not…I don't work there anymore."

"…I'm not sure I comprehend. I understand all of the words, but the idea just seems so foreign."

"You work for Yukari-sama, and you still are surprised by the actions of Gensokyo's residents?"

Ran laughed. "Yes, I really should learn to expect anything, but…you two seemed so close."

"I think…I think she was worried that we were getting too close. A servant and her master…" I thought about whom I was speaking to, "How _does_ that work out, Ran-sama?"

"I'm hardly deserving of '-sama', not from you, anyway. Remember, I'm a servant myself, far more so than I am a master. While it's true that Chen is technically _my_ shikigami, we are both at Yukari-sama's mercy. The 'master-servant' dynamic of our relationship is purely physical…or is that 'magical'?"

_Off in the night  
While you live it up I'm off to sleep  
Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat_

"I wouldn't know. And my apologies, then, Ran-san; it's just second nature for me to refer to anyone who outranks me on Gensokyo's power scale, except in certain cases."

* * *

CCX: I checked back to see if this was internally consistent, since most of her interactions with Stage 6 bosses and above revolve around the two vampires, whom up until this chapter she referred to as "Lady" rather than using an honorific. It turns out that she didn't refer to either Byakuren or Nue by name in Chapter 5. Presumably her failure to refer to Koishi as such in Chapter 8 was merely because Sakuya had never met her and therefore didn't realize how powerful she was—especially seeing as how Koishi willingly sealed off her Third Eye and Satori, a satori whose Third Eye is still open, is only a Stage 4. And this is probably the closest we'll ever get to directly referencing the power levels in the dialogue of one of these stories, although Cirno's comment in Chapter 7 of _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering_ is also a reference to the fact that both Chen and Cirno make their initial appearances as Stage 2 bosses.

* * *

"So, it looks like the 'incident-solvers' are here. Decision time, imouto: are you going to make things difficult for me, or are we going to cooperate?" An unfamiliar voice.

"Uh…I don't really like you, but…I don't want to get blown up!" I recognized this voice; that of the youkai of darkness, Rumia Yagami. That first voice referred to her as "imouto"…I had heard girls refer to other girls they looked up to as "big sister", but I had never heard someone refer to anyone other than a relative as "_little_ sister".

"Good…wait, why are you running away?"

"They're running! After them!" Reimu cried.

"Ah! Kuroi-chan, you idiot!" Rumia yelled. "We're going to have to shut up if we want to hide in the darkness!"

_I hope it's gonna make you notice  
I hope it's gonna make you notice_

Someone like me

A spell card suddenly came in our direction, though there was no audible incantation—or were they merely too far away to be heard? No matter. "Illusion World |The World|!" Time stopped, allowing me to search for them. No, this was no good; Ran was frozen as well, so I couldn't find them. I let it go. The others soon caught up, but I suspected we'd probably lost them. Suddenly, I heard an incantation that I'd heard many times, too many times…what was _she_ doing here?

"Scarlet Sign |Red the Nightless Castle|!"

I couldn't imagine why she'd want to stop this darkness…no, wait, yes I could. She just wants to upstage Reimu. Then I heard other voices. "Hey, Rumia-chan! Whatever happened to just waiting around for Reimu-san to take care of the incident?" That was…the firefly youkai, Wriggle Nightbug.

"I never agreed to that! Neesan and I are getting along much better now!" Rumia replied.

"Don't push it, Rumia-chan." So, this other youkai really was Rumia's older sister. Well, now that I knew where my targets were…

"Illusion Sign |Killing Doll|!" A direct hit.

"Ah! Sakuya, watch where you're throwing those knives! …Oh, wait, I get it; you hit me on purpose, didn't you?"

"I can't see very well in this darkness. I merely attacked the source of the sound. I _did_ hit the darkness youkai as well, didn't I?"

_Someone like me  
Someone like me  
Somebody_

"Hmm…I guess I deserved that. And yeah, you did well—that's how I know that it _wasn't_ a mistake. No one else got hit besides her and me. Of course, now that your attention is on me, she's getting away."

"But not without a parting gift," came the voice of the elder Yagami. "Darkness Sign |Midnight Oil|!"

Danmaku, by nature, usually gives off a lot of light, and even this was no exception. The bullets were _mostly_ black, but ringed by a fiery aura—not that it was enough to see the enemy by. "Don't be foolish, Sakuya-chan!" Remilia cried out. Did…did she just use an honorific? One of familiarity, at that…perhaps her usual failure to do so wasn't because of rudeness, after all—at least, not with me.

All the while, Ran, Reimu, Sanae, and Chen were still pursuing the Yagamis. Remilia only just now noticed them. "Good; you're not so stupid as to try to take this on all by yourself."

"What, were you worried about me?"

_Someone like you  
Somebody_

"Hmm…maybe."

"Suika-chan, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be preparing the celebration?" Reimu asked."

"I am!" she replied. "But I'm also spreading your big news!"

"Hey, there's no time for chatter," Ran said, "she's getting away again!"

Soon thereafter, I heard another spell card—wait, was that Fujiwara no Mokou? "I think they've got this under control," I said.

"And I was so looking forward to stealing their thunder," Remilia replied. "Well, I guess I should head back and see how Flandre's doing. Are you coming?"

"La—Remilia-sama…"

"It's your choice. You're not bound to do what I say, because you don't work for me right now. But…I wouldn't mind your company."

_Someone like you  
Somebody_

"I-I'd like that, yes. Um…Remi…san?" I wasn't sure what honorific to use for her anymore.

"Yes?"

"Huh? No, nothing. I just wasn't sure what I should call you now."

"…Whatever you want, as long as it isn't something insulting."

Wriggle cut in. "Sakuya-san, you two are headed back to the Nuclear Furnace, right? Could you take Luna-chan with you?"

"Sure, no problem." We headed back down to see Flandre, reuniting the fairy with her companions.

_Someone like you  
Somebody_

Flandre was just leaving Utsuho's room as we arrived. "Perfect timing," Satori said, "Now, let's bring the fairy in to be, um, 'treated'." I had no idea what was going on there, and at the moment, I didn't care.

"So…Sakuya…"

I was nervous with anticipation. "Yes…?"

"I'm…sorry. I shouldn't have fired you. But more importantly…I shouldn't have ignored your feelings. Or _my_ feelings. I guess what I'm asking is…will you please come back?"

"As a maid? Or as…"

"We'll see. It depends on if I can find another maid, I guess. Although I've heard that in households that can't afford maids, such tasks are typically the job of the wife…"

_I've been roaming around  
Always looking down at all I see_

* * *

CCX: Well, so much for the three-headed update. Turns out that "Use Somebody" is a fairly short song, whereas the song I chose for Remilia's side—and unlike this one, intentionally waited until I was a good way into the chapter before starting the music, for dramatic purposes—is incredibly _long_. So it looks like 18B won't be up until, at the very least, later today. Moreover, as you can see, I've already disentangled the Scarlets' saga from the Kuroi plot, so I no longer have to be toggling between three documents at once (four if you include the lyrics sheet), writing three different stories at the same time…and I think right now, Kuroi may have priority over finishing up Remi's story.

Anyway, thanks for all of the love over the course of this story! You've been a great audience. Ja ne!


	20. Final Chapter B

*Giant Purple Umbrella*

Kogasa: SURPRISE! HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY!

Sakuya: What are you doing in this story and what is a "Groundhog's Day"?

CCX: Not important. Due to...certain circumstances, it is no longer feasible for me to have a direct link to the site where I'd originally "simulcast" this fic from here. While anyone who had already read this chapter in its original location still could know how to get that close to me, with newcomers receiving that little extra detachment, it's time to publish this here, more than eight months after it was originally published.

* * *

The Scarlet Devil  
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Located below so as not to provide spoilers.

Final Chapter

CCX: Here's what we've been waiting for all this time...

_My name is Remilia Scarlet, aka the Scarlet Devil. I live in a mansion on an island in the middle of the Misty Lake along with my younger sister, my best friend, and a number of minor demons and fairies who are employed as work-staff. There's also a gatekeeper, and I'm supposed to be looking for a second one so the current one doesn't have to work around the clock. I also need to find a new head maid..._

"Hmm...that's odd. Why hasn't Sakuya-san come around with the tea?" asked my best friend, Patchouli Knowledge.

"You didn't know? Sakuya doesn't work here anymore. She's been fired."

"..._**WHAT?**_"

"Calm down, Patchy! Why are you getting so worked up?"

"Why are _you _so calm?" she replied.

"You do realize what you've done, right?"

"I've gotten rid of a distraction that was making me weak and soft-hearted," I replied. "I'm going to go back to being the old Scarlet Devil."

"...You're a fool." She sighed. "Koa-chan, could you please fetch us some tea?"

"Right away, Patchouli-sama."

"Is her tea any good?" I asked.

"Not as good as Sakuya-san's. But yes, it's good enough."

"Good, because I don't know how soon I'll be able to find a new head maid; they're so hard to find, especially good ones. Oh, and we're also looking for another gatekeeper; having two gatekeepers each working for half a day at a time will be far more effective than having just the one all day long."

"...If you're so worried about not having a maid around, why did you fire Sakuya-san?"

"Because...it just wasn't working out, okay?" This wasn't working, either. I left, passing Patchouli's assistant on the way. "You enjoy the tea with Patchy." She smiled. I think I did something right.

I hoped that I would be able to get some time to myself to think things over...I was already starting to miss Sakuya. That wasn't a surprise. My life got so much better when she showed up. I didn't have time to reflect, however, as my sister was waiting for me. "Oneechan? Where's Sakuya-san? She was going to bring me over to Okuu-chan's place!"

"I guess news doesn't travel around here. Sakuya's no longer our maid."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't want her to be."

"...You're lying."

"What? Flandre, how dare you accuse me of—"

"You love her, don't you? The two of you...I can tell. You're like a couple."

I quickly tried to change the subject. "Come on, Flan-chan. _I'll _take you to go see Okuu-chan.

She clearly wasn't satisfied, but relented. Nevertheless, the way both Patchouli and Flandre reacted...and everything Sakuya said and did...I couldn't stop thinking about it as we headed towards the entrance to the Underworld.

_._

.

.

_All the things she said_  
_All the things she said_  
_Running through my head_  
_Running through my head_  
_Running through my head_  
_(Running through my head)_

"So...you really enjoy being with Okuu-chan, don't you?" I asked, trying to make conversation so as to get my mind on another topic.

"Yeah, she's a really good friend!" Flandre replied. "But I don't think it's that love thing. That's what it was you didn't want to talk to me about, right? Why Mari-chan and Alice-chan got 'married'? Or like Reimu-chan and Sanae-chan—"

"You already heard, then?"

"Huh...heard what?" my sister asked.

"Reimu-san and Sanae-san!" replied the diminutive oni. "They're going to be getting married! I'm supposed to be getting together a party for their resolution of this incident, but I think I'm also supposed to be spreading the news, because apparently it was a secret before and now it's not because they told me, and I can do that 'cause I can be in lots of places at once."

"...What incident?" I asked.

"That one!" she replied, pointing at the blackness that I'd failed to see encroaching.

"...Well, shit."

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
(Running through my head)  
This is not enough_

For some reason, the oni continued onwards with us, I guess to continue spreading word of Reimu and Sanae's engagement. Presumably this was only one of many bodies she had active at this time; I don't know. At least her chattering was keeping my mind vaguely occupied, as was the odd darkness.

Wait...my mind. We were headed toward the home of a mind reader. I had a feeling I was about to be confronted with some uncomfortable truths.

_I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost  
If I'm asking for help it's only because  
Being with you has opened my eyes  
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?_

Mercifully, Satori left me alone. Exactly _how _mercifully, however...

"Wow. Satori-san seems to be actively _avoiding _you. You must really have a lot on your mind, huh? Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to talk about something else to get your mind off of it?" Orin asked me.

"Uh...the latter, I guess. Is that out of politeness, or would my thoughts actually be causing her pain?"

"It depends on what they're about. Any type of strong thoughts could work, not just painful ones. Although usually it's Koishi-san who _really _gets hit hard by perverted thoughts, because they often stay in people's subconscious."

"Well, I assure you that won't be an issue with me." Damnit, why'd she have to say that? Now I was having perverted thoughts about Sakuya...and about what Flandre and Utsuho might be up to, since of course we were leaving them alone.

_I keep asking myself, wondering how  
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out  
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me  
Nobody else so we can be free  
Nobody else so we can be free_

An interruption, as apparently there were some other visitors to this palace besides the three of us. "Hmm? Odd to see you down here, Yamame. Ah, I see…you were hoping Okuu could use her power over the sun to help revive this fairy? Well, I'm sorry, but she won't be using her power at the moment. Her girlfriend is over for a visit," Satori said. Then the oni told them about Reimu and Sanae, and Satori continued, "No, it's not about interrupting; neither of them even sees their relationship that way yet, though their feelings betray it. But Flandre is very sensitive to sunlight, and what's more her sister is here as well on this particular occasion." Well, there it was. Others knew we were here.

"Flandre...Scarlet? Seriously?" one asked.

"Who is that?" asked another.

"The Scarlet Sisters are these two powerful vampires, absolutely vicious," the first one informed the second. Okay, time to make my appearance...

"That's right. And I happen to be in a particularly bad mood today, so you'd better let my sister have her playdate in peace!" I snapped.

"How long have you been down here, then, Remilia-sama?" replied a spider youkai, whose voice was not one of the ones I'd heard before—the bug must have been the one informing the fairy of my reputation. "Because I would have thought that conditions such as these would be quite enjoyable to a vampire such as yourself—assuming you know to what I'm referring."

"The mysterious darkness. Not a bad thing, but it's obviously unnatural, which means the miko will fix it before long. This little oni informed me that she and her new fiancée are already on their way to do that," I replied.

"Well, we can wait. It's not like Sunny-chan will get better on her own if we don't," the fairy said.

"And if Reimu-san and Sanae-san take care of Ku—the darkness before that happens, the quickest way back to the surface is through the Underground Geyser Center," added the bug.

"Huh...it sounds like you actually know what's causing this darkness. Well, since it will probably be nighttime for real soon...I think I'm up for a bit of thunder-stealing. Anyone else want to come?"

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
(Running through my head)_

Nobody responded at first, stunned that I had actually offered the chance for companionship. "Okay, then, forget I said anything. You said there's a shortcut to the surface?"

"I'll come along," Orin said, "and show you the way."

"Count me in, I guess," said the bug, "Star-chan, you should stay here with Sunny-chan."

"You're not going out there without me!" added the spider, apparently the bug's lover. Talk about odd couples.

"I'm coming too! …I guess," the oni cried. Well, time to resolve an incident.

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head_

We quickly ascended to the surface, with me leading the way and the others using Orin's ghost lights and the bug's tail light—Wriggle, I learned was her name—to see where they were going to follow me. This was going to be fun, leading a team to try to steal the glory away from those shrine maidens...

Wait...leading a team? Fun? No, I was a solitary type...wasn't I? Damnit, Sakuya...even when you're gone, I can't stop being more human-like.

Sakuya...

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
(All the things she said)  
This is not enough_

The darkness felt thicker, and I heard something moving around. Did we find the culprit almost right away? A youkai that I recognized, one who lived not far from the mansion. One who was always surrounded by darkness...this had to be it. "So, you're the one responsible for this, eh? Well, personally I like the darkness, but someone's going to end up resolving this incident, so it might as well be me. _Scarlet Sign |Red the Nightless Castle|!_"

"Damnit, another one? And this one can see in the dark," cried...wait, who? It looked like it was that darkness youkai, but the voice seemed different.

"Hey, Rumia-chan! Whatever happened to just waiting around for Reimu-san to take care of the incident?" Wriggle called out.

"I never agreed to that! Neesan and I are getting along much better now!" The voice I'd originally expected.

"Don't push it, Rumia-chan," deadpanned the earlier voice.

The next thing I knew, both the enemy and I had been impaled by a barrage of knives. Instinctively I cried out, "Ah! Sakuya, watch where you're throwing those knives!" Then it sank in: _Sakuya_. "…Oh, wait, I get it; you hit me on purpose, didn't you?"

"I can't see very well in this darkness," came the reply from my former maid. "I merely attacked the source of the sound. I did hit the darkness youkai as well, didn't I?"

"Hmm…I guess I deserved that," I replied. "And yeah, you did well—that's how I know that it _wasn't _a mistake. No one else got hit besides her and me. Of course, now that your attention is on me, she's getting away."

"But not without a parting gift," came the voice of the more confident one. "Darkness Sign |Midnight Oil|!" A powerful attack. This youkai may be sharing a body with what seems to be a fairly weak, but she's obviously pretty strong—possibly almost as strong as me.

And too strong for Sakuya to take on by herself. "Don't be foolish, Sakuya-chan!"

_Ya Soshla S Uma - Ma!  
This is not enough  
All the things she said  
All the things she said  
_

She wasn't. Not only were the two shrine maidens also here, they were accompanied by the border youkai's shikigami, Ran and Chen. "Good; you're not so stupid as to try to take this on all by yourself," I told her.

"What, were you worried about me?"

I was, wasn't I? "Hmm…maybe."

After a bit, she said, "I think they've got this under control."

"And I was so looking forward to stealing their thunder," I replied. "Well, I guess I should head back and see how Flandre's doing. Are you coming?"

"La—Remilia-sama…"

"It's your choice. You're not bound to do what I say, because you don't work for me right now. But…I wouldn't mind your company."

"I-I'd like that, yes. Um…Remi…san?"

"Yes?"

"Huh? No, nothing. I just wasn't sure what I should call you now."

What was she going on about? "Whatever you want, as long as it isn't something insulting." Seriously, making something out of nothing...I hoped that she didn't see what was going on, because I think I started to blush.

_And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed  
They say it's my fault but I want her so much  
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain  
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame_

Wriggle then came over with a fairy. "Sakuya-san, you two are headed back to the Nuclear Furnace, right? Could you take Luna-chan with you?" I guess this fairy must have been friends with the two I saw earlier.

"Sure, no problem," she replied. We headed back into the Underworld.

Flandre was just exiting Utsuho's room as we arrived. "Perfect timing," Satori said, "Now, let's bring the fairy in to be, um, 'treated'." Apparently even Satori was a little confused by the idea of her nuclear hell raven actually being able to heal someone. I couldn't help but smile at seeing _her _confused.

"So...Sakuya..."

_When they stop and stare - don't worry me  
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me  
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget  
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head_

"Yes…?"

"I'm…sorry. I shouldn't have fired you. But more importantly…I shouldn't have ignored your feelings. Or my feelings. I guess what I'm asking is…will you please come back?"

"As a maid? Or as…"

"We'll see. It depends on if I can find another maid, I guess. Although I've heard that in households that can't afford maids, such tasks are typically the job of the wife…"

Her eyes went wide. "You don't mean..."

"What? Oh, no, no! Of course not. That would just be weird. I just meant that it would be _like_that."

"R-right."

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head  
Running through my head_

"So does this mean you're coming back, Sakuya-chan?" Flandre asked.

"Yep. I'm coming back," she replied.

Utsuho and the fairy came out, the latter finally revived. "Sunny-chan!" Both of the other fairies jumped on top of her, their joy evident. Once they were done celebrating being reunited, the first one, I think they called her Star, told the other two, "I kind of promised that we'd build Cirno-chan a new house. Seeing how much she and her friends helped you two, you _don't_ have a problem with that, _right?_"

"Of course not," Sunny said. "It will give us a great opportunity to set up some more pranks!"

"...Harmless ones, right?"

"In the long run, yeah."

"...Good enough."

"Oh, Flan-chan, you haven't left yet!" Utsuho said.

"We were just leaving. See you soon," Flan responded, and the two embraced, kissing each other on the cheek. Yeah, it was only a matter of time with those two.

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
Running through my head  
Running through my head_

We took the "long way" out, passing the other two fairies as we went. "Okay, you two; everything's pretty much over. You can head back to wherever you came from," I told them.

We arrived back at the mansion. "I see you've come to your senses," Patchy said.

"Yeah, yeah."

"There was someone by here earlier inquiring about the daytime gatekeeper position. Her qualifications seem to be more than sufficient, but I told her that I didn't have the authority to make such a decision." She handed me some paperwork.

"I'll...look over this later, okay?" I wasn't in the mood to be worrying about that right now. Right now...was a time for me and Sakuya.

_All the things she said  
All the things she said  
This is not enough  
This is not enough_

* * *

CCX: Uh-oh...looks like this song really did overwhelm us. There's not much more we can do with Chapter 18B. It looks like the songfic is going to have to continue into...the Extra Stage.

Disclaimers: Kuroi Yagami © Cyberchao X 2011-2012  
All other characters © ZUN 1996-2012  
"All the Things She Said" © Sergio Galoyan, Trevor Horn, Martin Kierszenbaum, Elena Kiper, and Valeriy Polienko 2002


End file.
